feels so good to be home :)

I'm home :)

And i am a very happy girl. It's 3:33am now and i am finally starting to feel sleepy. I don't believe school is starting this coming tuesday. goodness. Looking forward to it, but this tuesday?! That's a tad bit too soon isn't it? heh. Okay, reality check, i am back in Singapore and like Jessica who slapped her face at the Singapore airport today, i am metaphorically slapping my face. Grins.God be magnified in my life this semester. Year 4, here i come... :)

ps: Will update more about my afterthoughts on the trip soon. For now, let me enjoy the comfort of my bed. Smiles.

I am now sitting at a cyber cafe that charges Rs. 10 per hour, thats like SGD 25 cents, grins. Don't raise your hopes on high speed access here but i am thankful enough that i have access to the outside world. In 4 days, i will back to the bustle and fast-paced life of Singapore and well, i guess i really do miss home alot. It has been such a tremendous 2 months here i must say, walking through the streets of Nepal, basking in all the culture (pleasant and unpleasant) and just taking in all that my eyes can capture.

It's amazing what 2 months in this place can do to you. I have crossed rivers, (literally.) stepped on shit and experienced for myself what it means to live off only my bagpack. It's actually quite fascinating how much we actually need to live. After a while, the toners, face moisturizer, and other cosmatic comforts just make up part of my Singaporean lifestyle, a figment of something i do back home. And even more fascinating is how we can actually survive and more than that, live without much complaints with these things not at hand.

Life has been pretty slow-paced this week, we are all preparing ourselves mentally and emotionally to go back home. Yesterday as we were sigtseeing at some ancient sites, i realised how much i relish weaving through those streets, exploring every nook and cranny i could find. I imagined what stories the carvings on the window sills and doorframes told, picturing all that could have taken place on the ground where i treaded on. And i left the place satisfied, knowing that it was a day well-spent. I am gathering all my thoughts before the bombardment of "how was the trip?" and many other questions start flooding me. Grins. I'm really glad i get this week to think through things, and collect all my thoughts, journalling them all down. I will never end, haha, but as becky said, being away gives us alot more time to think and talk to God, and to that i absolutely agree.

It's been almost an hour since i'm here in front of the pc and (sigh) i have so much to thank God for- neverending. In the background i here the sound of Christians worshipping, i am just across one of the largest churches in Nepal. God is truly doing a great work here. The harvest is so plentiful- but where are the labourers? I'm praying, and so are the people here. Pray together with me as we plow the field for the souls here.

Back in Kathmandu.

Smiles. I am back in Kathmandu with 7 more days left here. There were so many things about the past 2 weeks that i would love to share but i'll leave that for tomorrow or another day coz i think i need some sleep now. Dead beat already. So till then, God has been so good. :)

abundance.

Before i leave for the village the day after tomorrow, (i might not get the luxuary of the internet tomorrow, it's "surprising nepal" here. everything is unpredictable. hehehe.) i am sitting here in front of the laptop at 11:46pm (nepal time) thinking about what to write to encourage each of you with back home.

I was just chatting with Jeanie and telling her how you all are in my prayers and how God is so interesting by dropping dreams into my head about people back home and across oceans, and i would wake up in the morning reminded and prompted by the spirit to pray for them. Our God is truly a God who is not divided by geographical territories and even time! And as i sat in a church service today, with the Nepali pastor preaching and us, foreigners plugged in to transitors with english translation, i was amazed at how our God is really such a great God. He superseeds language, culture and location. That is the God i serve! He knows our every need whereever we are and in the diversity of the different nations, God unites our hearts with one cry and one prayer- and that is that HE'S NAME BE GLORIFIED in all that we do.

Pastor Robert preached today that the life we have in Christ is really a life that is in abundance (John 10:10) and to that i say a resounding "Amen!" Whether here in Nepal or back home in Singapore, the devil has been working so hard to rob us of this abundance and fullness of life and i have seen enough to convince me that i will do all it takes to stamp him out. He certainly has no place in the lives of children of God. As the pastor said, which i fully agree- "we are not created merely to survive, but to live life abundantly!" (paraphrased) Have you been living in despair, in the lies and tricks of the evil one? Cry out to the Lord and He WILL answer you and deliver you. There is no doubt about that, because our God is a God who hears us.

As i turn in tonight, my heart is filled with joy because i know that even in this short time i managed to get on the internet tonight, the Lord had His purpose. I don't think it was very much i did, but my dear sister, the Lord cares so much for you- and i am so glad that He choose me to work in such a manner. There is no greater joy than this- Lord, You made my day so sweet.

Goodnight world, it has been such a pleasure living with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords constantly with me. Want that joy too? I believe you can experience it as you yield to Him- He is more than willing to reveal Himself to those who earnestly seek Him. Abundant life is on the way for you dear friends, if only you ask and seek. Smiles.

so blessed i can't contain it.

"Missions is not the ultimate goal. Missions exists because worship doesn't."- John Piper

This quote by Piper has been burning in my heart the past few days. It hasn't made more sense till this trip. Truly, missions is not the end in itself. That people come to recognize the true God and revel in worship to Him is what makes missions worth it. To see people fall at His feet and be satisfied by Him is certainly what would glorify His name.

I have seen how oppressive the forces of darkness has been here and truly my heart goes out to the people trapped in the lies and deciet of the evil one. How the devil tries to trick them into believing that He can give them peace is really heartbreaking. And as my eyes began to be opened to the needs of the people, i yearn to give them the gospel of truth that is able to set them free from all the bondange that they have been decieved into for years and years. And my heart is filled with joy (its a mixed feeling) that the Lord wants to deliver each one of them from all that they are going through. He love is THAT amazing. And in this assurance i believe that He will raise up more people to go into the unreached places to bring the gospel to where the gospel has not reached.

It is truly a delight as i spent the week in Kathmandu helping out at a after-school tuition centre helping the kids with their studies. The education system here is far from perfect and to me it is warped but i shall cease to comment about it here (grins). But i saw their sheer curiosity (beneath the memorization of the ENTIRE TEXT they have, mind you, they even memorize the questions asked.) in the world outside Nepal. You should hear the questions they ask about Singapore and about my family- questions like "what is your father's name?" are repeated more than once, which i found so funny at first but later figured that it is what is very important to them here in their culture. The questions about what language we speak, what houses we live in, and really all sorts of questions were asked. I was more than delighted to answer some of them. And at different opportunities i managed to insert in a bit of who Christ was even while teaching them science. How God gives us open doors to share His love. Smiles. I am awed at how much God loves them to want to bring His gospel to the even these kids. And as i see more, God's hearbeat also becomes more apparent.

At this stage of the trip, i can only say that God is truly amazing. I have no regrets coming to this place although i do miss the comforts and friends at home. But i have come to experience God in such a wonderful way that all i can say is that i want to soak even deeper in love with Him. There is nothing more satisfying then being in His presence and giving Him praise. I pray that all of you back home will learn to exalt the Lord for what you have and are given. Indeed, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." There is just too much to say and share- i find myself quite at a loss of words in wonder and amazement of who He is.

"So blessed, i can't contain it

So much, i've got to give it away

Your love, has taught me to live on

You are, more than enough for me."

ps: continue to keep me in prayer as i leave for the villages for 2 weeks this coming monday. its gonna be rural (almost like my 1st EA trip- some of you know what i am talking about. grins.) but i trust that it is gonna be an encounter that i wont want to miss :) thank you very much fro praying. smiles.

on the road.

I am back in Kathmandu again after being out in the towns. Mission work is really not for the faint-hearted and unprepared. I have been to so many places that the adjustment and adaptation has been so tremendous. In the last month, i have been from Kathmandu-Biratnagar-Kathmandu-Singapore-Kathmandu-Bharatpur (Chitwan)-Parasi-Butwal-Bharatpur-Kathmandu. And i will travel out to a few more places after this week here. Within these places we have also moved around alot. Well, this really takes a toil on us, but it also means we get to see alot of things, go to alot of places and meet alot of people.

I was just telling some of them that i managed to catch on msn that my eyes have really been opened to what a sad world we live in. The poverty, oppression, pain, strongholds and needs that the people have are really stark. I had it all thrown into my face and sometimes my prayer would be, "Lord, i dont know how to minister to these people, Your Holy Spirit has to do the work." And i find myself sometimes lost in a world of reality, realising that the conditions we have back home are really a farcry compared to what these people go through here. Sure, the are many needs back home, different kind of oppression and spiritual warfare but here it is so apparent that you cannot not see it. I would think that after one month here and still not feeling compassioned and burdened for the people would be almost ridiculous. But i also thank God that He has opened my eyes to see all of these, although it is sometimes a very painful sight to watch the people and also feel how they feel. I really doubt i will ever be the same again after i go home. It's almost like being exposed to the reality of life and you just can't go back to that bubble of Singaporean lifestyle and perspective anymore.

And i know that what i have seen is only a fraction of what the world is facing. Of course, i also have seen how the Lord loves these people so much despite what they go through here. He has indeed been such a good God in their lives, having a plan for their lives, which is to give them a hope and a future. smiles. and i am trusting and praying that the Lord will continue to minister to them, that they will find true satisfaction and contentment in the Lord. Because that, simply is the sweetest thing anyone could have.

I am also praying to ask God how He is going to lead me in my future ministries and direction. Travelling so much here has given me alot of opportunities to reflect, talk to and hear from God. Also had much time to think about many things and learn to ask God what His plan and purpose for me is. And i am excited to see all that He has prepared for my life. :) Do continue to pray with me as i seek the Lord and serve Him in whatever capacity i can here. It's been an amazing journey with the Lord. Miss all of you back home too, drop me an email sometime if you can to let me know how you are doing, will check and reply when i can :)

Ciao for now :)

flying with new wings.

I'm flying. Again. It's time to say my goodbyes and "see you in august"(s) once more. But leaving this time feels very different. I feel recharged and going with new purpose yet at the same time, i think i am really gonna miss home. This week has proven to me that relationships are important to me. (I think i could really die if i have to live on an island myself... no joke. heh.) The support, encouragement and bonds that have kept me going this week really shows me how the Lord places each different individuals in my life for a reason and purpose. And i am amazed at how much God cares for me to bother to do that. So dear friends, (and family)- Thank you so much for all that was done for me this week, how big or small, it was really appreciated and it has broadened my perspective of Christ's love for me. :) I am glad that what happened these 2 weeks happened because i found a community of believers who demonstrate the love of Christ in both tangilble and intangible ways. Smiles. Truly gonna miss you, you, you, you and you and... you, and you... and and... you... and...

However, i also believe that this is gonna be a great time of experiencing who God is and what He desires to do through my life. It is such a privilege serving with Him. I like what Anthony Yeo said when i attended a social workers gathering last saturday. (God planned it in such a way that i could go for the talk when i was back, amazing eh?) He quoted Luke 12:48b, "Everyone whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand more." and said, "As long as you have one dollar (could be replaced with any other unit of measurement) more, you have more." Very simple priniciple but it didnt become so stark until i heard it that morning.

God has given me SO much, more than i could ever imagine and this is the time for me to give it away. God will never ask us to give what we don't have. And with all that He has given to me as His child, living in Singapore, enjoying the fellowship of a great youth ministry, having wonderful leaders and mentors, being educated well from kindergarten to university, having a family that loves God... (and the list goes on)- What am i doing with all that the Lord has given me? With that thought in mind, i am heading to Nepal (and back) giving all that the Lord has blessed me with. And with that giving comes great joy and satisfaction of knowing that He desires to bless all those i come in contact with. How humbling, the almighty God choosing to partner with me...

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27 Lord, i am ready for all that You desire to do this trip back. Here i am, send me :) See you all in August. Smiles.

snapshots of life there.

These are just some of the sights, faces and lifestyles of the people i met in Nepal. Just to let you all have a peek into my 2.5 weeks there. The pictures really do not do justice to what i have experienced but it's the best i could do for now. Smiles.

These are the dirt paths that i have been walking on for the 2.5 weeks i was there. It's strange how sometimes they feel so familiar.

We held a programme for the street kids in Kathmandu.These are just some of them. Very bright kids, just lack the opportunities. But i believe God has great plans for their lives. :)

I saw what contentment was. What it meant to fellowship under the trees during the mid-afternoon sun. We walked through padi fields; plowing season.

Even though they are orphans, every one of them is fearfully and wonderfully made by God, each fingerprint being intricately craved by Him. He truly loves them, how amazing. :)

Jessica literally whipped out her camera when she caught sight of these kids. The pastor's wife and i burst out in laughter coz we made a bet that that is the exact thing she would do. Grins. What is amusing and new to us is lifestyle for them.

That small space packed 90 plus kids who were eager to learn about God. It was enough just looking at their faces. We served them with the Bread of Life so that they will never go hungry and Living Water so they will never thrist.

Come this monday, i will be leaving again... It's an honour to have each of you walking through this phase of my life together with me. Smiles.

in one piece?

displaced.
transported there, here, there, here?
lost in transitions.
confusion of places, people and and... plans.

unfamiliarity.
i don't i have been here before.
finally figured out the directions.
only to reorientate again.

unfinished jigsaw puzzle.
scattered, random, irregular pieces.
where's the picture? can't seem to find it.
not impossible to fix, just gonna take a little longer.
just a little longer...

Lord, I'm hanging on to You.
Only You can fix my heart, mind and soul together in one piece.

Everything In Its Time
By Corrinne May

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say its hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

Chorus:
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved the finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

back for a good reason.

As some of you will already know, i was back from Nepal on thursday because my grandfather passed away. It was an unexpected return and on hindsight, quite an overwhelming experience. But i thank God for being so gracious to me despite me questioning Him and even accusing Him. It has indeed been a ride and needless to say, God surprised me in more ways than one.

I am grateful now even though i do not fully understand what this homecoming means. I have seen God's plan as i process what happened the last few days and learn to trust His plan and beautiful picture unfolding despite the circumstances.

Would like to share with you all a few precious lessons i learnt over the last few days.

1. As humans, we often think of hills as mountains. When i was in Kathmandu, i often exclaimed to the rest, "Wow, look at that mountain!" and sis yuet hoe would correct me saying that it is only a hill. And everytime i see another "mountain" i would ask her and she would again tell me, laughing, "Rachel, that is still a hill, wait till you see the mountains." Over the past few days, i think i looked at my situation as a mountain when in fact it was actually a hill... Circumstances as such have not hit me as of yet and i found myself being very weak, asking God alot of "whys" and even accusing Him of being unfair. As i look back, i see that it was actually a hill that i was looking at. Yes, no doubt, it was an obstacle, unexpected and seemingly poor timing but i now know that i didnt have to make such a huge fuss out of it because God had His plans. So next time i think of a situation as a "mountain", i will certainly stop to ask myself whether what i am facing is in fact only a "hill".
2. God showed me what it meant to stand firm in my faith as a Christian. During the funeral, there were many issues about participating in the buddhist rituals and the Christians in the family could not agree on a common stand not to join in. Mummy was pretty upset with the whole situation because she felt very strongly about not doing it. To cut the story short, i thank God that we stood firm in the commandments of the Lord and did not participate in the rituals. We didn't even stand close by to look like we were supportive of it. I saw what it meant to be a Christian when there were pressures by the people (even fellow believers) to conform to the practices of the world. God brought me back to stand with my family and declare that He is the God of our lives and we will not compromise on any other standards. And because of that, His name is glorified. Praise Him... Not to forget that grandpa is now singing Hokkien Hillsongs together with grandma in heaven. (He accepted Christ at His deathbed.) The thought of that makes me swell with joy. :)
3. God showed me His faithfulness. When i heard the news and decided to come home, i never really expected to return to Nepal. And in fact even though many people asked me at the wake when i am going back, my answer would always be, "i'm not sure if i am even going back." Mummy knew i was very upset about having to come home and offered to pay for my return trip, but i knew it was a sacrifice on her part and it would definitely be a pinch. And i told her, "I'll go back if i am sponsered part of the sum of money." Well, when i said that, i had no idea how it was gonna be done. In fact, i doubted in my heart that it would happen. Yesterday night when i prayed to ask God for His leading in this whole issue, God said to me, "Will you not test me and see if I am a faithful God who will provide for you?" I actually dared not claim the promise but i told God that if He wants me to go back, He will pave the way for me. And today, a dear sister of mine offered to pay half of my air ticket back. That is enough to make me awe at God's faithfulness and stand amazed at His grace. Even though i am so faithless, He remains faithful.

The God that i serve is indeed a real and living God. As human as i am, i griped, complained and questioned but God was so patient with me. Never once did He choose to leave me but in fact, was waiting for me to run back to His arms. And for that, i praise Him for bringing me home, for allowing me to experience what i did. I believe that there are still things i have yet to learn from this homecoming and will continue to seek the Lord regarding it.

Thank you all for supporting me during this period of time, the prayers, visit to the wake and the encouragement you all have been giving over this past few days. I saw what it meant to be part of the family of God in times of crisis and i am thankful for every bit of it. You have no idea how much it all means to me.

I will be leaving again this coming weekend, the exact date is unconfirmed. Please continue to pray with me as i leave for the land of Nepal. It is a land with great needs and lots of strongholds. Pray that i will declare His word fearlessly. His love for the Nepalese is so great... Join me in loving them by praying. Will share more about them soon. :)

understanding.

After one week here in Nepal, i still dont understand many things. Some things really baffle me while others amuse me. haha. like dogs barking the entire night. and the crazy traffic here. as of now, i have just experienced a blackout and its almost commonplace to me already. grins.

Its 1219am now in Nepal which is around close to 3am back home. I'm enjoy some personal time alone coz here you are practically around people all the time. it's a huge change from having my own room where i can just shut the door. so yup, im adapting to some of these things- communal living. grins. there's a slight rain now and its wonderful weather because its really hot this season in Nepal so i am really enjoying myself. The day starts really early but i can afford to stay up later today coz its just traveling tommorrow without ministry. The rest are asleep so yeah, its peace and quiet here. :)

I'll be flying to the villages tomorrow and will stay there for 5 weeks. (And i wont be updating- perhaps a slim chance coz well, its the village. hehe.) It's gonna be challenging but i choose to say that i am walking by faith and not by sight. There are many things i am thinking about now as i type but i know that the Lord will go ahead of me even as i am unsure. And im glad He knows my every thought and desire. What a great God we serve! Who fearfully and wonderfully made us. Smiles.

I'm starting to think that living in a 3rd world country is really a challenge but well, its a good challenge. Whether i will be able to stay in a place like that in future will be a good test this 2.5 months. Somehow God has created me the way i am for a reason and i am still yearning to discover that and embrace the process He is bringing me through to reveal His ultimate plan for my life. It is with excitement i look ahead because i know my God knows each of my paths and the steps ahead and i just need to follow. (not as simple as said, but i know He will enable me)

Alright, even as the rain seems to be getting lighter, i shall end by this quote that has been on my mind alot these few days- "God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him." by John Piper.
Indeed, this is so true but not an easy truth to grasp. :)
Lord, open the eyes of my heart even more as i serve You.

ps: thank you all who have been praying, i really appreciate it so much. thank you. ;)

greetings from nepal :)

Greeting from Nepal :)

i am very privileged to be here to serve God in such a manner. It truly warms my heart that God would use such an opportunity to bless the lives of the kids here. I have conducted 3 children's programmes to far and i am amazed at the grace and love of God upon their lives. These are kids who are living on the streets, among the rubbish heaps and it is a real privilege to minister into their lives. I have also met handicap children and i see how the God i serve really desires to minister into their lives. it is truly a joy to see their smiles.

I have too many things to share even after one week here so i'll keep it simple. But God has been already teaching me many truths. I have been awed again and again at how He answers the simplest of prayers. The God we serve is truly an amazing God. and my heart's cry is to bring this God to the every kid that i will meet. That they too will learn to worship Him as their king and not the millions of other idols that are int his land.

Really look forward to the next 10 weeks here and how the Lord is gonna surprise me and the other 2 of my co-workers. It has already been such an enjoyable journey. Will update again if i can, although unlikely very often :) well, please continue to pray for us as we do His work together. So grateful to be on the same team as all of you. Smiles. Will be meeting alot of other kids as i travel to the village next week. will be there for 5 weeks. so yup.

For those going for retreat this weekend, enjoy being in the fellowship of the believers and Christ. You have no idea how privilege we are to be able to worship so freely :) For the rest back home, miss you loads and you can email me if you want, i will check when possible.

signing off. rach.

when i can :)

I will update when i can. But the chances are slim. Grins. Perhaps a few times in this 2.5 months. Well, i'll be back in no time :)

I better get to bed in a jiffy. I am gonna miss my dear bed too. hehe.

smiles. i'm not going alone.

Dearest friends :)

As i think about leaving for Nepal tomorrow morning, my heart is filled with anticipation of what the Lord has prepared for me as i serve alongside Him and the other co-labourers He has provided. It is indeed a great privilege to be setting foot in that land. Even as i prayed and sought the Lord the past 2 weeks, i have been encouraged time and again that i am going "not by might, nor by strength but by His Spirit" and i believe with all my heart that it is gonna be a great time of discovery and experiencing God in ways that i have never imagined before. Because of that, i am excited by all that the Lord is going to do in and through my life. As one of my teammates says, "I'm pretty sure Gos is gonna surprise us in many ways..." and that, i embrace.

I would like to share with you all how the Lord has been encouraging me with these verses,
2 Timothy 1:6-7 "For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

And i especially like what verse 8-9 says,
"Therefrore, do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me (Paul) his prisoner, but share in the suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began..."

Isn't the God we serve so awesome? I am going in His power! I know i do not go by my own capabilities or becasue of what i have but because He knew that i was going before i even did. It never fails to amaze me how God desires to use our weakness to make His strength complete. It is my heart's desire that i will, by the grace of God, inspire others to worship the King of Kings and give Him the due worship. I like what John Pipers says, "Missions exists because worship doesn't." and yes, that is my prayer that the Lord will use me in whatever capacity possible to bring people into being awed by this great God that we worship.

As i leave, i covet all your prayers. We are going together during this 2.5 months because you are fighting the spiritual battle together with me as you pray. :) So here are some things you can pray for:

1. Sensitivity to the Spirit
- That i will only act according to the wisdom and discernment God has given me
- That i will speak boldly the words He places within me
- To be sharpened in hearing the voice of God

2. Family
- God will be their trust and reliance
- That they will be assured that God is watching over me. Indeed He is faithful to do that!
- Protection from the darts of the evil one

3. The Team (Kit Peng and Jessica Tan will be going with me)
- Unity, that we will serve with one mind and spirit
- Relationship to be strengthened
- Us to compliment one another in our working styles
- Openness and communication to be effective
- To spur each other on to love and good deeds

4. Nepalese
- That our love for them will manifest Christ's love for them
- Favour in relationship building with the youths, children and local church workers
- We will build into their lives in any way possible
- God to prepare there hearts (receptivity to the ministry that we will be doing there)

There are countless things to pray for, but these are the most pressing. Please pray as the Spirit leads as and when you can. :) Rachael Lim will be my prayer co-ordinator and will update once in a while through the "prayforus" yahoogroups. So if you aren't in the groups but you will like to be, please let her know.

Thank you very much for all the support that has been showered, the encouragement and the prayers that have already been uttered. You have no idea how much they have been a blessing to me. I really appreciate it. :)

Have a great few months ahead, will miss all of you dearly :)



See you in August with lotsa good reports,
Rachel :)

indeed it is a privilege.

2 more days till i fly to the land of Nepal.
It is getting easier by the day as i cast all my concerns one by one into His hands.
Yeah, you are right, "missing is not a bad thing..." and to that i add, "... allowing it consume you is."
So my dear friends, i will miss you dearly, the relationships i have here and the things i leave behind for this 2.5 months.
But i am so much more prepared to go- It's gonna be such a great journey. Smiles.
Thank You Lord, for this privilege to go.
I'm all ready for Your magnificence to be displayed. :)

I like how kit peng puts our trip to nepal so aptly,

"It almost like starting a new job, but the difference is that your boss is the Man himself." (paraphrased)

Indeed it is. A new journey, a new relationship with the great I AM. I am truly excited. Hope you can join me in my excitement... :)

walking the dirt paths.

As i prepare my mind, spirit and body to leave for Nepal on the 28th of May, there are mixed feelings within me. One part of me is all ready to conquer the world, step out in faith and set foot on the land. While well, the other part of me is apprehensive and fearing the element of unknown. Thank God at this point of time the former is stronger than the latter. I know that i will never be prepared enough of adequate enough for the work that God wants to do in and through my life while i am there a short 2.5 months. But one thing i know for sure- His grace is sufficient for me and His strength is made perfect in my weakness. And because of that, i may look foolish in the eyes of men to be doing something like that, but i believe that His power will be demonstrated in this weak vessel of clay. Thus, i take delight in the challenges that i may face there- the dread of having to preach, (yes, the very thing i run away from when asked to do in Singapore.) going there not fully prepared with resources or equipped with the skills needed for ministry, having to adapt to the culture, people and food only to find myself returning after i have settled in. Believing that in all of this it is really a process of moulding and the Lord doing a work in my life.

I can almost picture myself and the kids, running around, singing songs and just having fun- showering all the love i can upon them. Talking to the youths, hanging out (not 'chilling out' coz its gonna be so darn hot there. hehe.) and sharing life with them. Right now, the best i can do is to imagine all these things, but in 12 days, i'll be there and i won't need the imagination anymore- it'll all be reality. Smiles.

So even in these few days as i get excited about all the things that i have to do and worried about the things i can't do, i am reminded that in all of this the Lord wants me to do His will. And how will i know what His will is for this trip? I really got to pray. I really have to hear what the Lord desires for me in this trip, not what i want to accomplish or what the team desires to see, but what God wants for each of our lives. And thus, at the 12-day mark, i covet all your prayers that i will have the discipline to be more prayerful and learn to hear from the Lord. That i will not be caught up in the doing that i forget what this is actually about- Deepening my relationship with God so that i will be satisfied in Him and which results in Him being supremely glorified. :)

to walk down the dirt paths/sleep in wooden houses/travel along bumpy roads/hold the hands of kids with dried-up-mucus-faces/see them smile at the simplest things/being contented with all that the Lord gives them/praising Him for life.

That's really all that matters. :)

bridge to terabithia

I really enjoyed Bridge To Terabithia not because of the graphics or the effects (well, i would rate that part only as so-so and boy, it is nothing like Chronicles of Narnia- don't let the previews fool you.) but because of the rich meaning behind the plot, themes and symbols. And i started to miss doing literature all over again... This is one of those shows that you could really like or think that it was okay-only. But i really liked it because it brought back so many memories of things i used to do in my childhood- the pretend-play that i enagaged in, imagination all gone wild... maybe thats the reason why i am so visual now. (right cheryl?) laughs. But it really brought out the reality of escape into the world of imagination and how the mind can do wonders.

I will not spoil the show by describing it all here. Hmm, and well, i will recommend you to watch it but i will also add that it is not a must-see. But i really loved it lah. haha. So you decide for yourself if you are gonna catch it. Smiles. As i said, it is one of those shows they will show on channel 5 two years down the road. Grins.

"Just close your eyes... and keep your mind wide open."

-Leslie Burke in Bridge To Terabithia

strange but good.

It felt kinda strange, (although when i told hann he said it wasn't) but yesterday as i was studying for my counselling module, i found myself subconsciously praying for my future clients. Well, this has never happened before, much less happen without me realizing/planning for it. It was strange coz i actually "caught" myself doing it. But well, i found it such a delight studying the module from then onwards because i was reminded that i am not doing this just for the grades but so that my future clients will be blessed. It's amazing how God can mould your heart if you choose to allow Him to. To place in you a compassion that you have never had before...

And today, i took the paper praising God for the lives that i will meet in time to come. Its gonna be another one more year of studying (if all goes well, i'll be doing my honours. heh.) before that happens and really, i hope this is not talk only- i know how tough it is in reality but like all feisty undergrads and fresh grads, we are all ready to conquer the world. laughs. let's see what happens a few years down the road huh? i pray that i will still be as burdened and compassionate for my clients. Yesterday, Joey asked me whether i am excited to start work and i said yes, but i rememeber adding that it's gonna be hard work coz the world's pretty sick. And well, i'm thankful i'm not alone in this coz God is going to be with me in the counselling room, groupwork sessions and house visits and i am there just to facilitate His work. Grins. It's gonna be an adventure i'm sure. To all those graduating this semester, go all out for it yeah? i'm waiting to hear all your stories! :)

Having said that, today's paper was do-able, and well besides that, i really learnt loads about relationships, people and the human heart though this module so i am thankful. :)

So 4 down, 1 more to go! heh.

Holidays, i know you are waiting for me, be paitent alright? grins. keke.

yet i will rejoice.

"Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains."

- Habakkuk 3:17-19 (NLT)

主的喜乐是我力量

主的喜乐是我力量
你的救恩是我盼望
虽然橄榄树不效力
也许葡萄树不结果
我仍因救我的神欢欣快乐

我要赞美 无论得时或不得时
我要赞美 每天从日出到日落
我心坚定与你 每天赞美不停
我要赞美 跳舞赞美
我要赞美 自由赞美
大声欢呼 你是永远得胜君王

Gosh, as i listen to the chinese worship songs, i am reminiscing about my trips to China. How the Lord was so gracious both times i was there, and blessed me so tremendously with the lives of the people there. I miss them. And i miss the fellowship we had there. But i take delight that with every trip abounds new experiences and mercies, Nepal- here i come... :)

okay rach, please remind yourself that you still have two more papers. haha. laughs.