introspection

I copied this picture from a friend’s blog with her permission of course, because it captured my heart. This picture was taken in Chinatown and if you ask me what’s so special about it, actually nothing really. But this picture caught my eye coz it brought out poverty, it brought out simplicity of lifestyle and it reminded of the fact that there are actually many in Singapore who are not THAT fortunate. This picture also brought to remembrance scenes of 3rd world countries which really stirred something in my heart and spirit. I haven’t been to that many countries but I’m just attracted to the lifestyle, the people, and their simplicity. Perhaps that is a gift from God and preparation for what lies ahead. Maybe I was made to be this way because of the purposes He has for me.

I remember how I asked God for compassion and He gave. I remember how He placed within my heart a burden for the less fortunate. I remember the visions and the dreams He gave me. The call upon my life. How He led me to major in social work. The reason why I am in social work and how I am enjoying it. The passion He has given me. The experiences that I went through personally and how they increased my self awareness. The lives that I believe that he will place in my path to impact. And now, how I believe I can partner with God to being who He wants me to be. I am really grateful as I think back, because I know that who I am today, is all His leading and guidance. And I really have a long way to go, I am pressing on ahead because I know the stretch ahead is going to be an uncertain YET an extremely exciting one. Where do I want to be? ONLY in the centre of His will. That’s where I really want to dwell. No where else.

So, back to the picture. This picture triggers so many thoughts, and most of all, a really grateful heart. That’s what a picture can do to me.

i want YOUR burden

What does it really mean to take on “His yoke” and “carry His burden”? Because if His yoke is easy and His burden is light, I really want that. How else can I do this?

mega-churches. portrayal. “enhancement of worshippers emotions”. techno-secularism. post-modernism. truth. blind-faith. faith. etc etc. Okay, the list goes on. There are many things on my mind and I feel burdened.

Rach, you are not God and please do not try to be.
Yes, that’s right, I can’t be God anyway. And I won’t.
So, into YOUR hands I commit again.

i really don't know it all

Isn’t it strange that sometimes (or maybe all the time) we think we know it all? How can we say that when even Paul, the one who was shipwrecked, who was imprisoned for his faith, who wrote at least 1/3 of the books in the new testament and this same Paul said in Phil 3:12-13 “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.” And we think we have already arrived. We think we know God so well and all. PLEASE. Excuse me ah, you think you are greater than Paul? Well, think again.

As I evaluate myself, I think some things I do, have pretty sound intentions and my motives might be right but yet, the method might not be. (A friend would know what I am talking about exactly.) and I think I know it all just because of some experiences I went thru. But is that true? In a general sense for things that happen in life? I don’t think so. So i pray that all my actions will really be motivated by love.

God placed in my heart a prayer during the YA prayer today: before we pray for revival for the other young adults, before we pray for those who strayed away, lets check our hearts. Do we have the “them” vs “us” mentality? Do we think that just because we are leaders that we are “above” them? And I prayed: “God as a leadership group, we really don’t know it all. And we ask you to humble us.” And that prayer lingers in my heart tonight. I pray that we will first desire to dwell in His presence. I pray that we will know what it means to have His presence everywhere we go. I pray that we will understand the intensity of what we are praying. Prayer is not fruitless. It does not just end after that one hour. Prayer is how God reveals to us what we ought to do. because we really do not know it all. because God is really the one whom we need to lead and guide us. And as I begin to understand more and more of who He is, I begin to learn what it means when we say “Prayer changes things”. This phrase means that we gain new perspectives, it means we are convicted to acting on what God reveals thru prayers, it means we learn to do things God does and it means we partner with God to see our prayer answered. It might not mean the situation changes, but it might mean that our perspective of the situation changes and we begin to see things in a clearer view. Of course there’s so much more to prayer, endless to talk about. I haven’t learnt enough yet, really- but I yearn to discover more of the mysteries of prayer. And through praying and acting out my prayers, I want what Paul said he wanted, “to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.” (Phil 3:10-11)

More on prayer another time…

Knowing You Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing
You’re my all, You’re the best,
You’re my joy my righteousness
And I love You Lord

Who is God to YOU?

Everything To Me
By Avalon

verse 1:
I grew up in Sunday School
I memorized the Golden Rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out
I can tell you all about
The path that led Him up to Calvary
But ask me why He loves me
And I don’t know why
But I’ll never be the same
Because He changed my life when He became

chorus:
Everything to me
He’s more than a story
More than words on a page of history
He’s the air that I breathe
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He’s everything, everything to me

verse 2:
We’re living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that I’m aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I want to tell the world I found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
How everyday I’m praying
Just to give my heart away
I want to live for Jesus
So that someone else might se that He is…

You’re everything to me
You’re more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You’re the air that I breathe
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
You’re everything, everything to me


i had an interesting conversation to day, with a member of Falun Gong. it was an educative conversation and i made one conclusion at the end of standing half an hour along the road in the sun, that you can be sincere, and sincerely wrong.
God reveal YOUR truth to your people.

pause

okay, i need time to think and pray even more. i might go for a walk tomorrow.
a bit overwhelmed.
but no worries, i am fine. who will be worried actually? laughs.

my handbook to life

Before you continue reading: This is a long entry but something that has been burning in my heart. Read if you have time. :)

You know something; I realized that God is just AMAZING. After we accept Christ, He doesn’t just leave us to fend for ourselves. He gave us the handbook to life! Which is the bible- His word. I will always remember what sis jo told us one cell meeting, about 3 years ago. “If you can spend hours studying your literature text, or your physics notes which will one last for that year or at least until you finish your A levels, why won’t you spend time reading and studying the word of God which is your handbook for your entire life!” (Paraphrased but meaning retained) What she meant was simple: Ground yourself and invest in what has eternal value. I love the way she describes it: handbook to life. Yes, the Bible might not seem to answer our every question, but it does in the sense of principles. I will not elaborate here because there are other things burning in my heart.

Well, I went for a bible study class and what this teacher taught was nothing new. I have heard how important the word is to my life many many times. I mean, I have been in Sunday school all my life man! I have attempted to study the word many times. And I have told that to youths and prayed that pray for the ministry many times too. BUT, yesterday, the CONVICTION of the Holy Spirit that the word should be in an integral part of my life was what made the session different. I went for the class not to hear the teacher teach, (sure, she is really gifted in teaching and power-packed) but I went there to hear what God’s word said. And I like how she started the session by bringing us back to the basis: Why study the word? Of the many things she said, of which I learnt, two things that really struck me was the goal of studying the Bible and the power of the word.

We study the word of God to know Him. (John 17:3) And what struck me deep was how will we know that we know Him? ie: what is the result our knowing God? Answer: When we begin to see that we are conformed to the image of Christ, to His likeness; meaning- Our thoughts mirror His. Wow, what a wonderful truth. I want to study the word of God and be so conformed to Him that I think what HE thinks. I was sharing with a friend online last night, (or rather, this morning) that it’s not what I think, or what I feel, or even my opinion but what the word of God says. I want to be able to point people to the word which is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. And bible study is not easy work I must admit. For me to even get out of the inertia and start going for the class was already difficult. But now, knowing that the word of God is able to transform my life compels me to seek and hunger more for His word. Yes, knowledge puffs up, so I will be careful to ask God to guard my thoughts and remember that the word of God is always to be applied in my life, not stored in my brains.

The other thing that struck me was the power that the word of God possesses. Just one of the verses that she quoted, Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” The word of God is able to separate black from white, truth from deception. Especially in this age where there are many false teachings around, we must be able to discern right from wrong. Even in the Christian circle, we need to be able to judge what is right and what is not and we use the Bible as the foundation of it all. Non-Christians and pre-Christians need explanations to why we believe what we believe. We can be secure in our salvation, which we should be; BUT- we need to be ready to explain why we believe what we believe in and studying the word of God will help us to do that. It’s really not “blind faith” anymore but faith backed up by the word of God. I hope I am not quoting this out of context but Hebrews 10:17 says, “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” So faith has to be backed up by hearing the word of what? Of Christ. This is the start of a year where I will study the word of God. May God Himself help me to be disciplined in this. I WANT to love the word!

FAITH- saying the "will" instead of the "is able"

Well, I have been thinking. A friend told me last weekend that there is nothing wrong with thinking deeply. Yes, there is nothing wrong with that. Just that if I think TOO much, I might worry over nothing. Well, I went over to grandma’s this evening, (she stays in the same block as me for those who don’t know) and brought dinner over. I love my grandma. She is 86 this year and she is still healthily walking, (though with aches and pains here and there) telling me the latest news and is in tune with the Chinese serials that I am so out of touch with. Last year, grandma started going to a nearby church with my parents. She asked for a bible recently but well, has yet to receive Christ. About two months ago, we heard that she decided to remove the alter cupboard, ancestral tablet and alter she has at home coz she was re-painting her place. Wah, I tell you, I was so happy. But much to my disappointment, she only removed the josssticks alter in the kitchen. She still has this ancestral tablet where she will put josssticks to respect my granddad and her ancestors. I was really disappointed, but I learnt to be thankful that she is taking small steps towards salvation. At least the alter in the kitchen is removed.

But today, I went over and along the way I was just thinking of asking her how church was. When I reached there, she candidly showed me this nian gao that was goblet-shaped and was just laughing at how it is so hard and has no fragrance at all. So I asked her what she bought it for. “bai4 bai4 gei3 ah gong de4.” And my heart sank. I was really quite upset. We have been praying for her for many years, and her going to church now is really encouraging but “when will she receive YOU, Lord?” I was walking home and God, in His still small voice comforted me, “My child, I will do that work in her life, be patient.” Faith. Then, I was reminded of something I read this morning.

Faith is not believing that God is able to do something. Faith is believing that He will do it. And oh Lord, help me believe that it will come to pass! “If you love her so much Lord, let the Holy Spirit convict her! You can do it, can’t you?” being so human, that was my prayer. But as I pondered, God reminded me, “Faith is believing in what is unseen.” And although I cant see grandma’s salvation yet, I want to believe that she will be saved. Because of this faith, I will not give up in my intercession. Because of this faith, I will not give up doing good deeds for her. Because of this faith, I know my God is and will be faithful. God makes everything beautiful in His time, and His work will be completed in grandma’s life. All I have to do is be faithful in my prayers and action of love in her life. This is what Leonard Ravenhill writes in his book Revival Prayer, “The light bulb for us Christians is prayer, and God has the power. But it is faith that makes the connection!” How true it is! So this, I commit into Your hands. I trust You Lord.

fused with Him

Prayer is the means by which we become fused with God, to such an extent that God can easily flow into our affairs and we can easily flow into God's affairs. - Thomas Muthee, Senior Pastor of Praye Cave

i love the word that is used to describe the connection we have with God as we engage in prayer: FUSED. i imagine 2 hearts beating at the same rythmn, pulsating together as one. and my prayer for the week has been that God and I will be CONSTANTLY communicating. no, not only communicating, but communing. Yes, communing is a better word- in connection. "every breath that i take , every moment i'm awake, Lord have your way in me." the word is EVERY. and i mean EVERY moment Lord. help me, remind me, to be constantly in ur presence, in the centre of Your will. Yours alone.

a thought about delighting in the Lord

Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
What does this verse mean to you? does it mean to you that if you "stay close" to Him, or abide in Him that what you desire (financially, in terms of exam results, your future spouse (of coruse with the criteria attached), etc etc- the list goes super long) He will give it to you? My dear friend, think again.

Thought about it? heh. this is what it means i think. as you abide in Christ, what He desires will become what you desire. As you grow in your love for God, you will began to love what He loves. You will start to see as He sees. a desire for the homeless to be sheltered, for the hungry to be fed, for the lost to find Him, for hearts to be softened.......... and perhaps, this verse will present a whole different meaning to you.

thank you Lord for relighting my passion. it's awesome. finally, 2006, HERE I COME...i am ready.

marvel at God's creation :)

two pretty girls at botanic gardens orchid garden!

marvel at God's creation, ok, on 2nd thoughts, this might be men's creation, they are hybrids i think. but watever the case, they are BEAUTIFUL.

A pineapple which i thought was just cute. haha.

it was a great time with great company of course. with two girls admiring plants and afraid to touch the carnivourous pitcher plant. haha! being grateful for nature and appreciating the quietness. thank God for excellent weather. today couldnt have been better. :) thanks dear for the nice afternoon out. smiles.

what grace can do

i read stg pretty interesting yesterday night and i thought i'd share it here. this is what Max Lucado wrote and i thought it rather insightful.

"The prodigal son trudges up a path. His pig stink makes passersby walk wide circles around him, but he doesnt notice. With eyes on the ground, he rehearses his speech: "Father"- his voice barely audible- "i have sinned against heaven and against you. i'm not worthy to be called your son." He rehashes the phrases, wondering if he should say more, less, or make a U-turn to the barnyard... How could his father forgive him? Maybe i could offer to pay off the credit cards. He's so focused on penance planning that he fails to hear the sound of his father... running!
The dad embraces the mud-layered boy as if he were a returning war hero. He commands the servants to bring a robe, ring, and sandals, as if to say, "No boy of mine is going to look like a pigpen peasant. Fire up the grill. Bring on the drinks. It's time for a party!"
Big brother meanwhile stands on the porch and sulks. "No one ever gives me a party," he mumbles, arms crosed. The father tries to explain, but the jealous son wont listen. He huffs and shrugs and grumbles something about cheap grace, saddles his high horse and rides off. But you knew that. you've read the parable of the gracious father and the hostile brother (Luke 15:11-32)
But have you heard what happened next? Have you read the second chapter? it's a page turner. The older brother resolves to rain on the forgiveness parade. If dad wont exact justice on the boy, i will. "Nice robe there, little brother," he tells him one day. "Better keep it clean. One spot and dad will send you to the cleaners with it." The younger brother waves him away, but the next time he sees his father, he quickly cheeks his robe for stains.
A few days later big brother warns about the ring. "Quite a piece of jewelry dad gave you. He prefers that you wear it on the thumb." "The thumb? He didnt tell me that." "some things we're just supposed to know." "but it wont fit my thumb." "What's your goal- pleasing our father or your own personal comfort?" the spiritual monitor sibes, walking away.
Big brother isnt finished. With the pleasantness of a dyseptic IRS auditor, he taunts, "IF dad sees you with loose laces, he'll take the sandles back." "He will not. They were a gift. He wouldnt....would he?" The ex-prodigal then leans over to snug the strings. As he does, he spots a smudge on his robe. Trying to rub it off, he realises the ring is on a finger, not his thumb. That's when he hears his father's voice. "Hello, Son."
There the boy sits, wearing a spotted robe,loose laces, and a misplaced ring. Overcome with fear, he reacts with a "Sorry, dad" and turns and run.
Too many tasks. keeping the robe spotless, the ring positioned, the sandals snug- who could meet standards? Gift preservation begins to wear on the young man. He avoids the father he feels he cant please. He quits wearing the gifts he cant maintain. He even begins longing for the simpler days of the pigpen. "No one hounded me there.""

identify with this story?

of course this was not exactly in the bible but well, if u turn to galatians you'll find stg similar. Paul writes of how leaglistic jews were turning from what Lucado writes "grace receiving to law keeping" Their happiness was taken away once they decided that the law was what defined their lives. Arent we the same sometimes as well? we know we have been saved by grace and grace alone but so often, we try to be prefect. we try to live up to what the world deems as "christians". and we get so discouraged when we dont meet the standards. when our "big brother"-our inner voice taunts at us, that we arent doing well enough that God would think poorly of us because of how we do certian things. but the law/works is not what defines us, it is grace that defines us. until and until we understand this truth we will never stop trying to clean away the spot on our robes coz we are afraid that our dad would see it or keep tightening the laces on our sandals etc etc. (you get what i mean)

dont get me wrong, the bible does say that we have to "work out our salvation with fear and trembling", yes that is true. i realise one thing. that when we understnad this grace that we have been given so FREELY, whatever we do, we will do it to please God, and we do it not with our strength but with His. and it's amazing. coz when we begin to accept this grace as a gift from God,we will keep our robes spotless not because of fear of getting found out, or the guilt of not wearing the ring on our thumbs but it becomes a willing living out of a godly life.

see what understanding this grace can do for us? serve the Lord and live your life with gratefulness and joy. remember, here, gratefulness is an action word. Get what i mean? :)

had a paul encounter?

i have been reading and studying the book of Acts.and i have been thinking.i read and re-read the conversion experience of Paul.(Acts 9)and i am still filled with amazement and wonder.it was a 360 degree transformation.this can ONLY be the miracle of God.imagine with me,if you were living at the time of Paul,what would your reaction be?this man,who was on his way to damascus to persecute the christians,was a violent persecutor,who stood and witnessed the stoning of stephen,now a born again christian?imagine the thoughts running thru the mind of the christians.i wouldnt blame those who were afraid of him and thought that he was only pretending.they would be scared to death!i think i would be too.

then imagine with me for a moment yourself being Paul(or Saul at that time).seeing the flash of light,hearing the voice of God,hearing the call-what a sensational experience!notice the word "experience".he encountered God along the road, heard His voice.i often pray this prayer,that people will have the "paul encounter" that they will be changed TOTALLY.but u know what,today,i realised stg,that is not enough to pray for the mere encounter.the encounter has to be accompanied with conviction,with the power of the Holy Spirit and with action.u know what paul did after his experinence?he "immediately" began to preach at the synagoges that Jesus is the Son of God. in NLT,it's "immediately",in NIV,it's "at once" and both words show urgency.the encounter wasnt enough,he had to act upon it.and i begin to understand stg,that so what if we heard the voice of God? so what if we had an experience at the alter? so what if we cried our hearts out after a leader prays for us? so what? (ok,before anyone pounces in here,i believe in the move of the Holy Spirit and it is highly valued too but,) the important thing is, what do we DO about this experience that we have had? what do u do after u have heard the call of God?

the preacher said stg on saturday that was so true, "many are called but ultimately, few really go to the field." we may have that experience of a lifetime at the alter,see visions but what REALLY matters is what we do after that.back to Paul,what he did was that he preached what he was so convicted about and his "preaching became more and more powerful".and thereafter,look at his life!how he was never ashamed of the gospel,how he suffered for the truth,how he served the Lord.all theses i believe,BEGAN with the experience that He had with the Lord but CONTINUED to the end because he willingly acted upon it.read about paul's life and you will see,a LIFESTYLE of the call of God along the road to Damascus.

Oh God, help me to be the person that you have called me to be.to live out the truth that you have placed in my heart.to act upon the experiences that you have given me.to be like paul Lord.i dare to pray this prayer because i know that there is no greater joy than living in the centre of God's will and being what He has called me to be.i pray that today,this will be a prayer for yourselves and your young people.

take my hand and walk

this was my prayer today, that God will take my hand and walk. and God affirmed my prayer, that He WILL take my hand and walk. what a marvallous promise! indeed our Lord knows exactly what we need, whether it be assurance, encouragement, conviction or comfort. God KNOWS. and i am truly grateful for that. because He not only calls us, but promises to see us thru whatever He calls us to do.

the journey might be long and seemingly neverending, but i know that our God is faithful. i might doubt along the way, i might ask God why He remains silent on certain things and i might not even feel that He is with me, but in the midst of all these, i just have to KNOW and BELIEVE that He is faithful.

tonight i sleep with a smile on my face, not because i have all the answers or because i know exactly what to do next. i will sleep with a smile on my face because i know that no matter what, my God will never fail me. never.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

A new year, a new beginning

i used to tell myself and people that i will NEVER own a blog. firstly because it is too troublesome to upkeep and i have seen too the bane of having blogs- blogs that tear others down, do not edify and well, people who have abused this privilege. thus, to me, the cons obviously outweighed the pros. (of which i didn't even bother thinking of any.) call me unconformist, but i just refused to get a blog. so today, as i sit here typing, the cons obviously still stand but i cant help laughing at myself. (what a joke, i have to eat my words now. haha.)

i have a blog today not because i feel like i have to conform but because i know that God has given me so much that i just want to have an avenue to share it and give it away. i decided that i do not need a fanciful blog to do that so here it is, plain and simple. i hope that thru my sharing, people (Christians and non-christians alike) will be challenged, encouraged and ministered to. i do not believe that it is something too big to achieve because i believe that blogs CAN be a great blessing to others. therefore, i resolve to speak ONLY words of edification here (oh God help me.) and i pray that YOU (all of you who visit) will be blessed.

this is a new beginning, a year where i will seek to bless. (by the strength of the Lord) it is indeed better to give than to receive. :)