Last night, while we (cheryl, suhui, jeanie, sam and hann) were having dinner, i mentioned something about my capacity to be irritated with my family members. And what the rest replied set me thinking about my attitude towards my family. There were comments along the lines of, "i never seen rach irritated before..." and "you will be irritated one meh?". And at that moment i thought to myself why this was the case but the topic soon dropped as we carried on with dinner. I didn't think of it anymore thereafter.
Then this morning as i was reading the word, the Lord reminded me of it again. As i prayed asking the Spirit to work in my life and help me bear the fruits that i may reflect Christ, (2 Cor 3:18) the Lord reminded me of how i treat my family members. Many times i will get irritated with them when they ask me to do little things, or when i am busy and mummy asks for a favour and i say things that are not very pleasant. As i reflected upon that, i begin to realise that i don't treat my friends like that at all. Do i not love my family? No, i love them very much. Then, am i living a double standard life? Perhaps, perhaps not. You know, i figured that love and familiarity is a very complex thing. Maybe we have been brought up to act prosocially- meaning i know how to behave when i am out with my friends, however, when i am at home, the expectations are different, familiarity breds a sense that i don't have to behave so "properly" because my family knows me. Or rather, i expect that we will accomodate to each other because we know each other so well. So, "don't ask me for a favour when you know i am busy" kind of expectations pop up. That of course is not to say that i don't mean the things i do or say to people when i am outside and that i am putting up a front. No, all that i do is sincere and genuine- out of a desire to really want to love.
However, as i know the Lord more, i strive to treat my family with the same respect and patience as i treat my friends and other people i meet. Because what's the point of leaving good impressions but yet being unkind at home? (even though i don't mean it...?) Not a very good example to hold.
Lord, help me never to compartmentalize my life- And grant me a controlled tongue when i am at home, to say things that will build my family up. I want to display Your fruits at home more.
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2 comments:
Being one who is also guilty of the same 'sin' you committed, I made up my mind to give much more to my family than I would to friends. I set an even higher standard with respect to the love that I would shower and sacrifice that I would make. Though at times, I still do fail. I simply learn to apologise and try again. :) Praying that you will continue to bear much fruit. :)
smiles.thanks for the encouragement.yeah,im striving towards loving them more each day too.its a journey, which i embrace. smiles. :)
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