humbled again and again.

Time and time again i have been greatly humbled. When i think that i can do it and i've got things going for me, that's when God throws it at me and leaves me helpless and needing Him. It's certainly not easy being a Christian, in fact, more and more, i begin to see what it means by "deny yourself, take up the cross and follow me."

Today, as i met the youths in Crossroads and listened and observed some of the things that are happening around in their lives, i felt overwhelmed with the some of the things they were facing. I asked myself if i was effective and adequate in helping them- i don't know what to say or how to advise, neither do i see anyway where i can seem to meet their needs. And the Lord in His grace and mercy reminded me this: Rach, you are not God. And that simple truth hit me straight in my face. It was me again trying to do things, wanting to change circumstances, wishing i could be in control of situations. And when i went down on my knees in utter submission telling God that i am limited and i can't, who He is was being magnified. His infinity and magnificance became all i could see. And i know that God loves the kids in Crossroad unconditionally. My responsibility is really to point them to Him, to the one who is more than able to meet their needs, give them peace, joy and satisfaction and be their friend. So often, i am caught up in the "i don't seem to be doing enough", "is there something that is lacking in all my service?" but John Piper puts it so beautifully when he writes,

"The uniqueness at the heart of Christianity is the glory of God manifest in the freedom of grace. God is glorious because he does not need the nations to work for him. He is free to work for them. 'The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many' (Mark 10:45) Missions is not a recruitment project for God's labor force. it is a liberation project from the heavy burdens and the hard yokes of other gods. (Matt.11:28-30)"

- John Piper in Let the nations be glad (Bold emphasis mine)

This few lines struck me. Many times, our God is portrayed as a God who needs us to work for Him, slog for Him, give our energy and time for Him, be all tired out n burnt for Him and this description makes Him sound somewhat like a slave driver! I am certainly not condoning that we do not do anything for Christ and just sit back, slack and enjoy life. But the truth that i am placing across is that God has to be glorified in all that we do! and we need to be constantly aware that we can NEVER do enough for Him, what we need to do is to be satisfied in glorifying God.

Today, it is my prayer that i will point the youths to one who can give the eternal solution and remember that Christ is the author of their salvation, the provider of their needs and i am merely availing myself to be used by Him.

I dare not pray bold, aggressive prayers tonight, except ones that i will do what He wills and bare His cross with my life. Lord, i am nothing- You are everything. This song describes very aptly my heart cry today.

Who Am I

by Casting Crowns

Verse:

Who am I

That the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name

Would care to feel my hurt

Who am I

That the bright and morning star

Would choose to light the way

From my ever wondering heart

Bridge:

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not becasue of what I've done

But because of who You are

Chorus:

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

A vapour in the wind

Still you, hear me when I'm calling

Lord you catch me when I'm falling

And you told me who I am

I am Yours

Verse:

Who I am

That the eyes that see my sin

Would look on me with love

And watch me rise again

Who am I

That the voice that calm the sea

Would call out through the rain

And calm the storm in me

Whom shall I fear?

Whom shall I fear

'Cause I am Yours

I am Yours

Psalm 8:3-5 (NLT) "When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers- the moon and the stars you have set in place- what are mortals that you should think of us, mere humans that you should care for us? For you made us only a little lower than God, and you crowned us with glory and honour."