Who Am I
by Casting Crowns
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours
Yes, it is all about who YOU are. Not because of who i am or what i have done. and You still bother. You bother about me, the sovereign Lord tells me i am His.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
grateful.
All my secondary and jc life i have woken up at 5plus or perhaps 615am latest, but over the years, since i left uniform-ed education, i have never really woken up regularly at such unearthly hours. i have come to conclude that i am not a morning person, with people having to shake me to wake me up during youth camps, rachlim and i missing morning prayer during retreat (at 630am) which we kept saying we would wake up for. being late for most of my 8am uni classes and needing wake up calls. i have labeled myself as not a morning person and in fact have had many more late nights than early mornings. THEN, i found the joy of waking up early once again. it is not only a good, fresh feeling, feeling all set for the day but also nostalgic as well.
at 530am this morning, (it's 6 now by the way) i crawled out of bed when all was dark, and took a warm shower. when i came out, my family members seemed to be awaking from their slumber. water running, electric shavers, the sound of the washing machine, boiling water and stirring of milos and teas. routine movements around the house as if there was no need to think about where to go or what to do because it was so familiar. i realised have taken all of that for granted. that there would be boiled water when i woke up and that the house will be in order. This family wakes up at 6am. And how many times have i done that since i was in jc? i think not many. This family prays before leaving the house to separate ways. and i miss doing that, i miss those days where i will be sitting at the sofa waiting for daddy to get ready and then we'll pray. no spectacular prayers, and sometimes groggily too, the prayers were uttered faithfully every morning. i used to go "huh? my turn ah?" when i was supposed to pray, but now i know why mum and dad made us do it at home. i used to think that we kept praying the same prayers, why pray anyway? and now i see, i see why mummy and daddy did that every morning and is still doing that with dave. i miss those days, i really do. and i realised, that my childhood, or uniformed days are long over.
i am no longer a child. although i will always be mummy and daddy's children, but i am 21 this year. the concept of growing up and excites me as well as scares me. my future ahead is promising, but definitely not as the world sees it. but does it matter to me? i dont know, perhaps i will know when reality REALLY strikes. but i really thank God for supportive parents, parents who say- "dont look at the salary, look at the lives." i am truly blessed, how many parents in Singapore are like that? not many. the choo family, we dont own a car, we are not rich, (in money) we dont have club memberships, we dont own a big house, neither do we go on many holidays coz that would burn a hole in daddy's pocket but i say we are blessed. we sometimes ask ourselves what we would do if we were rich-er. i have struggled with pursuing my dreams and passions and making my parents proud when their friends ask them what i am doing. perhaps it's a very asian-chinese-confucian mindset where face and reputation is important. but im glad that we are not only asian-chinese, that we are children of God. and that makes all the difference. Children of God don't focus on mian zi (or face) in fact, they throw it away. Children of God desire to be small and lose themselves so that Christ can be made big in their lives. and as children of God, we know the grace of God is upon our family, we are neither in debt, and whats more, we have enough to give generously. and i am grateful. i know my parents have brought me up well, and i know that i might not do them proud in wordly terms, but i will in eternal terms.
this morning i am very thankful, coz i know that where the Lord has brought me today is purely by His grace. and i know i am rich, rich in Him. i know my family is in His hands. daddy, mummy and dave, i love you.
at 530am this morning, (it's 6 now by the way) i crawled out of bed when all was dark, and took a warm shower. when i came out, my family members seemed to be awaking from their slumber. water running, electric shavers, the sound of the washing machine, boiling water and stirring of milos and teas. routine movements around the house as if there was no need to think about where to go or what to do because it was so familiar. i realised have taken all of that for granted. that there would be boiled water when i woke up and that the house will be in order. This family wakes up at 6am. And how many times have i done that since i was in jc? i think not many. This family prays before leaving the house to separate ways. and i miss doing that, i miss those days where i will be sitting at the sofa waiting for daddy to get ready and then we'll pray. no spectacular prayers, and sometimes groggily too, the prayers were uttered faithfully every morning. i used to go "huh? my turn ah?" when i was supposed to pray, but now i know why mum and dad made us do it at home. i used to think that we kept praying the same prayers, why pray anyway? and now i see, i see why mummy and daddy did that every morning and is still doing that with dave. i miss those days, i really do. and i realised, that my childhood, or uniformed days are long over.
i am no longer a child. although i will always be mummy and daddy's children, but i am 21 this year. the concept of growing up and excites me as well as scares me. my future ahead is promising, but definitely not as the world sees it. but does it matter to me? i dont know, perhaps i will know when reality REALLY strikes. but i really thank God for supportive parents, parents who say- "dont look at the salary, look at the lives." i am truly blessed, how many parents in Singapore are like that? not many. the choo family, we dont own a car, we are not rich, (in money) we dont have club memberships, we dont own a big house, neither do we go on many holidays coz that would burn a hole in daddy's pocket but i say we are blessed. we sometimes ask ourselves what we would do if we were rich-er. i have struggled with pursuing my dreams and passions and making my parents proud when their friends ask them what i am doing. perhaps it's a very asian-chinese-confucian mindset where face and reputation is important. but im glad that we are not only asian-chinese, that we are children of God. and that makes all the difference. Children of God don't focus on mian zi (or face) in fact, they throw it away. Children of God desire to be small and lose themselves so that Christ can be made big in their lives. and as children of God, we know the grace of God is upon our family, we are neither in debt, and whats more, we have enough to give generously. and i am grateful. i know my parents have brought me up well, and i know that i might not do them proud in wordly terms, but i will in eternal terms.
this morning i am very thankful, coz i know that where the Lord has brought me today is purely by His grace. and i know i am rich, rich in Him. i know my family is in His hands. daddy, mummy and dave, i love you.
Monday, April 24, 2006
wake up rach
As i woke up this morning, i made it point to thank God for the life that i have, this life that He gae me to the full. i certainly dont want to take this for granted. i really want to share what has been upon my heart for the last week but not fully as it might not be appropriate.
for the past week, i have been grappling with a doctrinal issue and have asked God for one thing, "Lord, i want to belief, help me with my unbelief." i have just been through week of working so much of my brains, and there were times i told God, "i really dont understand!". but through it all, i think i am humbled. i really dont have all the answers yet, God is way too vast but i will not stop in this search and quest for the correct picture of who God is. i was shaken, and i seemed to want to know the answers instantly when the issue i was grappling with obviously couldnt be reconcilled within that night. And as i began to question what i have been believing, and going through this process of searching, (which has not ended) i realised one thing, that we, humans are so selfish. we want it our way and we want God to work on our terms. we think that God is unfair because He allows evil and might have even willed for it. we cry out to God to take away pain when it is there to build our character. we ask God alot of whys but we never try to understand what He is doing. we only want God to be in control when feel like we cannot do it on our own, but when all is well, we ask for free will, we ask for choices. we give God glory when bad is banished and good comes out of something, but we complain when things turn sour. we demand for Him to heal the sick when it someone close to our hearts, but merely sympathize with the souls dying everyday. we embrace blessing and good grades, but stomp our feet when trials come our way. we say that God cannot have willed to do something like this, or that, but are we to determine? we sulk at the fact that there is only free will in the midst of God's will and we complain that we are treated like robots. we complain of unfainess becasue we understand it only in our own lousy vocabulary and adjectives. we are selfish beings, we think that we play big roles in by extending God's kingdom. Let's think again.
Psalm 8:3-9
3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.
6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:
7 all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
8 the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.
9 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
We are really nothing. but God chose, He chose to use us to be part of this great plan and purpose. how are we responding to that? Are we supporting the director of this drama by being the best we can be in this role that we play?
Isaiah 40:21-26
21 Do you not know? Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
22 He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
23 He brings princes to naught and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.
24 No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.
25 "To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.
26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.
In case you havent noticed, (which i think you would have by this time) our God is THAT sovereign. have you ever marvelled at it? i feel so small when i read these verses. it reminds me how small i am and yet He chooses to partner with me. i am repentant of how so often i have assigned power and worth to myself. And how i have ignorantly thought that my salvation today is all only part of my choice. pui, as if God owed me salvation. we give too much credit to ourselves, it is time to evaluate. salvation is the grace of God, it is not by works, it is a gift. So what are we doing with this gift that He has given us? have we forgotten that we are called out of darkness into His marvellous light? He could have very well banished us to eternal destruction, but we were given this privilege. could we learn to be more grateful and live out a life worthy of what Christ done on the cross? or are we merely indifferent that we are hurting Him again and again by the way we live our lives? oh God forgive me from being so ignorant and self-seeking, i want more of You.
Thank you for challenging my beliefs that night. although i do not fully understand yet, i will continue to be in search. And thank you for praying. God's ways are truly not our ways, i will be praying for too, that God will grant us understanding.
for the past week, i have been grappling with a doctrinal issue and have asked God for one thing, "Lord, i want to belief, help me with my unbelief." i have just been through week of working so much of my brains, and there were times i told God, "i really dont understand!". but through it all, i think i am humbled. i really dont have all the answers yet, God is way too vast but i will not stop in this search and quest for the correct picture of who God is. i was shaken, and i seemed to want to know the answers instantly when the issue i was grappling with obviously couldnt be reconcilled within that night. And as i began to question what i have been believing, and going through this process of searching, (which has not ended) i realised one thing, that we, humans are so selfish. we want it our way and we want God to work on our terms. we think that God is unfair because He allows evil and might have even willed for it. we cry out to God to take away pain when it is there to build our character. we ask God alot of whys but we never try to understand what He is doing. we only want God to be in control when feel like we cannot do it on our own, but when all is well, we ask for free will, we ask for choices. we give God glory when bad is banished and good comes out of something, but we complain when things turn sour. we demand for Him to heal the sick when it someone close to our hearts, but merely sympathize with the souls dying everyday. we embrace blessing and good grades, but stomp our feet when trials come our way. we say that God cannot have willed to do something like this, or that, but are we to determine? we sulk at the fact that there is only free will in the midst of God's will and we complain that we are treated like robots. we complain of unfainess becasue we understand it only in our own lousy vocabulary and adjectives. we are selfish beings, we think that we play big roles in by extending God's kingdom. Let's think again.
Psalm 8:3-9
3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.
6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:
7 all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
8 the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.
9 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
We are really nothing. but God chose, He chose to use us to be part of this great plan and purpose. how are we responding to that? Are we supporting the director of this drama by being the best we can be in this role that we play?
Isaiah 40:21-26
21 Do you not know? Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
22 He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
23 He brings princes to naught and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.
24 No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.
25 "To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.
26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.
In case you havent noticed, (which i think you would have by this time) our God is THAT sovereign. have you ever marvelled at it? i feel so small when i read these verses. it reminds me how small i am and yet He chooses to partner with me. i am repentant of how so often i have assigned power and worth to myself. And how i have ignorantly thought that my salvation today is all only part of my choice. pui, as if God owed me salvation. we give too much credit to ourselves, it is time to evaluate. salvation is the grace of God, it is not by works, it is a gift. So what are we doing with this gift that He has given us? have we forgotten that we are called out of darkness into His marvellous light? He could have very well banished us to eternal destruction, but we were given this privilege. could we learn to be more grateful and live out a life worthy of what Christ done on the cross? or are we merely indifferent that we are hurting Him again and again by the way we live our lives? oh God forgive me from being so ignorant and self-seeking, i want more of You.
Thank you for challenging my beliefs that night. although i do not fully understand yet, i will continue to be in search. And thank you for praying. God's ways are truly not our ways, i will be praying for too, that God will grant us understanding.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
it is well with my soul
The views that i have been having all my life are being challenged.
Although i say that it doesn't matter, well in a certain sense it really does.
And maybe i am feeling a little afraid.
But i believe You will show me Lord.
While i am grappling with this, i will say- It is well with my soul.
Help me, Lord.
Although i say that it doesn't matter, well in a certain sense it really does.
And maybe i am feeling a little afraid.
But i believe You will show me Lord.
While i am grappling with this, i will say- It is well with my soul.
Help me, Lord.
Monday, April 17, 2006
it's 8am now and i am pleased
It is 7:24am in the morning and i am awake and feeling cold. this morning i am ponderful and reflective. the cold keeps me wide awake. the bird calls outside my window remind me that God feeds the sparrows, what more about me? i am feeling the cool air morning air seep into the room and i thank God for Singapore. i marvel at the graciousness and mercy of God, how He sustained me through the night and not only that, gave me a good night's rest. that, was a bonus. i am smiling at the song playing on my i tunes- Crossing Over and the memory of what God spoke to me about when i first heard this song flashed through my mind. i am pausing to just savour the words and recapture that memory. this song caused me to pause during worship that saturday and it has caused me to pause once again. i know, Lord, i know... Mr Morning Sun is shining brightly this morning and gone is the cold and rainy night. it's amazing how God controls the comos and the weather. wow. in the midst of global warming, earthquakes and floods, God is still God. He allows disasters to happen but that does not mean He isnt faithful.
i am thanking God for the joy that i have- my salvation. read about other religions for a few days and i am convinvced, with all of my being that YOU are the only way, truth and life. i dont need apologetics this morning. Your presence proves it all this time. i love the morning, but i dont wake up early often enough. i love it when the air is still cool and the construction that has been going on for months downstairs hasnt began. it is quiet and as much i love being with people, i treasure time alone too. i think it's times like this that sustain me through the day, personal time to just think and talk to God. soon, i will be in school and studying again. well, i guess then i have to thank God for school. education and knowing that this is only one of the stops and preparation to what lies ahead. i have dreams, we dream together, me and Him, and talk about things i cannot imagine doing. i let out a soft laugh because some dreams are so seemingly absurd but well, that doesnt stop me from dreaming and having those thoughts in my head.
i am thinking how God has been given me opportunities to minister to others and how they were so unexpected. i know there is one thing that i cannot reject, my own heartbeat. and i am finally at peace about going to EA this July. hey, maybe that's why i could sleep peacefully last night. ha. i am convinced that God really loves the Chinese, He really does. to think i was a jonah and ran away for a whole night, but that didnt last very long, i didnt think the idea of being swallowed by a big fish was all that appealling so yup, i decided i better talk to Him about it. and you know, God will never ask u not to go, it's fat hope if i was waiting for Him to convince me out of it. i know the heart that i have today was one that probably went through a few bypasses, operations and fixing before it got to this stage, beating at this pulse. i never imagined myself thinking of going back but i am, i am. and i thank God for that. it's gonna be different this time, the concerns that i once had will not longer be and i will be truly free to do what He wants to do together with me this time- i truly miss the people, the lives and their lifestyle. God is truly doing a work in my life. truly.
this morning, i feel unrushed, and i am pleased. i savour times like this. there are more thoughts then what i just typed but im saving it for another time. the morning has just begun, and it is a new morning, a new day and i have a new assignment for the day. i am pleased. :) thanks DAD and thank you for making sure i woke up this morning (haha)- appreciate it.
i am thanking God for the joy that i have- my salvation. read about other religions for a few days and i am convinvced, with all of my being that YOU are the only way, truth and life. i dont need apologetics this morning. Your presence proves it all this time. i love the morning, but i dont wake up early often enough. i love it when the air is still cool and the construction that has been going on for months downstairs hasnt began. it is quiet and as much i love being with people, i treasure time alone too. i think it's times like this that sustain me through the day, personal time to just think and talk to God. soon, i will be in school and studying again. well, i guess then i have to thank God for school. education and knowing that this is only one of the stops and preparation to what lies ahead. i have dreams, we dream together, me and Him, and talk about things i cannot imagine doing. i let out a soft laugh because some dreams are so seemingly absurd but well, that doesnt stop me from dreaming and having those thoughts in my head.
i am thinking how God has been given me opportunities to minister to others and how they were so unexpected. i know there is one thing that i cannot reject, my own heartbeat. and i am finally at peace about going to EA this July. hey, maybe that's why i could sleep peacefully last night. ha. i am convinced that God really loves the Chinese, He really does. to think i was a jonah and ran away for a whole night, but that didnt last very long, i didnt think the idea of being swallowed by a big fish was all that appealling so yup, i decided i better talk to Him about it. and you know, God will never ask u not to go, it's fat hope if i was waiting for Him to convince me out of it. i know the heart that i have today was one that probably went through a few bypasses, operations and fixing before it got to this stage, beating at this pulse. i never imagined myself thinking of going back but i am, i am. and i thank God for that. it's gonna be different this time, the concerns that i once had will not longer be and i will be truly free to do what He wants to do together with me this time- i truly miss the people, the lives and their lifestyle. God is truly doing a work in my life. truly.
this morning, i feel unrushed, and i am pleased. i savour times like this. there are more thoughts then what i just typed but im saving it for another time. the morning has just begun, and it is a new morning, a new day and i have a new assignment for the day. i am pleased. :) thanks DAD and thank you for making sure i woke up this morning (haha)- appreciate it.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
just me and YOU
i finally had a chance and time really to myself last night. i hardly had much time to myself the past few weeks, work was up my neck, ministry was pretty intense- took up some new projs and i just couldn't find time to myself. and strangely, the busier i got, i began to pray more. my burden for intercession began to increase with intensity. God began to place more things upon my heart, things i never thought of, were indifferent to and even things that i was blind to i began to see. but even sometimes as we interceed, it becomes all too intense so yesterday, after my 6-8pm class, i decided to talk a walk home from school. i thought of just walking halfway and taking the bus the next but well, it ended up with me walking the whole journey home. (i cant almost hear the "huh??"s as you read this. haha. but my house is not that far, i took 1hr 15 mins, and i still bought buns along the way for my family. grins.)i enjoy long walks. they help me to clear my mind. and even as i walk, i am singing, not really bothered by whether people hear, coz they probably dont know me anyway. enjoying the sights and sounds of the evening, looking at families having dinner at the coffee shops, passing by old folks sitting in the parks, and hearing dialects and their laughter. seeing buses, taxis, cars zoom pass me, just looking at trees along the road- the same road that i pass everyday while on board the bus to and from school. hearing the bells of bicycles, the chattering of foreign workers, sounding seemingly rough but yet they were enjoying their conversation. occasionally chancing upon a stray cat, a couple sitting by the bus stop in their own worlds... and me, feeling the intermittent breeze upon my face and wishing for more of the cool air, humming tunes to myself for songs i cant remember the lyrics to... All these sights and sounds felt foreign to me. they felt like a new experience, and i wanted to capture all of them as snapshots in my memory. i love the independence that i got and felt. the feeling of walking along with no care at all, talking to God, smiling at the things that seem to be happening in my life, and just knowing that He was so close.
And as i walked, we talked. it was just a chitchat and i loved it! i loved knowing that my God is my dear friend too. At the end of the journey i knew that even though i might be hitting walls, i might be facing situations in my life that i cant comprehend, i have a God who understands and i know is willing to walk with me through it all. And to me, that is enough to know. At the end of the walk, i was perspiring and needing a shower, but i was contented. i knew the 1hr 15 mins was worth it.
Is it time for you to take a walk with the Lord?
Friday, April 07, 2006
everything to you and me?
I posted up this song in January but it once again brings out what i am feeling right now so i thought it warrents and 2nd post.
Everything To Me -By Avalon
verse 1:
I grew up in Sunday School
I memorized the Golden Rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out
I can tell you all about
The path that led Him up to Calvary
But ask me why He loves me
And I don’t know why
But I’ll never be the same
Because He changed my life when He became
chorus:
Everything to me
He’s more than a story
More than words on a page of history
He’s the air that I breathe
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He’s everything, everything to me
verse 2:
We’re living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that I’m aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I want to tell the world I found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
How everyday I’m praying
Just to give my heart away
I want to live for Jesus
So that someone else might see that He is…
You’re everything to me
You’re more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You’re the air that I breathe
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
You’re everything, everything to me
i have been replaying this song over and over. i dare not say that God is eveerything to me yet but i pray that He will be. but more than that i pray this will will translate to "telling the world what i've found so that they can taste and see". the harvest is indeed plentiful. we need to stop being consumed in our own issues and start to open our eyes to the people and the world around us. they need to taste and see this blessed hope we have. and more than letting people see that God is everything to me, (that is not what is most important) but that this will help others to see God being everything to them. that they will experience for themselves who this God is.
Our ministry needs a vision bigger than what we have now. and we need to catch it. yes, we may have personal issues to handle in our lives but that should not stop us from moving on and out. we dont have to be perfect or struggle free before we start embarking on reaching out. let's please start looking beyond ourselves. pray, people pray... our ministry, (YA or Youth) needs a breakthrough. we need to move out. Lord, grant us insight and a larger perspective. there are many who need Him. more on this another time...
Everything To Me -By Avalon
verse 1:
I grew up in Sunday School
I memorized the Golden Rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out
I can tell you all about
The path that led Him up to Calvary
But ask me why He loves me
And I don’t know why
But I’ll never be the same
Because He changed my life when He became
chorus:
Everything to me
He’s more than a story
More than words on a page of history
He’s the air that I breathe
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He’s everything, everything to me
verse 2:
We’re living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that I’m aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I want to tell the world I found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
How everyday I’m praying
Just to give my heart away
I want to live for Jesus
So that someone else might see that He is…
You’re everything to me
You’re more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You’re the air that I breathe
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
You’re everything, everything to me
i have been replaying this song over and over. i dare not say that God is eveerything to me yet but i pray that He will be. but more than that i pray this will will translate to "telling the world what i've found so that they can taste and see". the harvest is indeed plentiful. we need to stop being consumed in our own issues and start to open our eyes to the people and the world around us. they need to taste and see this blessed hope we have. and more than letting people see that God is everything to me, (that is not what is most important) but that this will help others to see God being everything to them. that they will experience for themselves who this God is.
Our ministry needs a vision bigger than what we have now. and we need to catch it. yes, we may have personal issues to handle in our lives but that should not stop us from moving on and out. we dont have to be perfect or struggle free before we start embarking on reaching out. let's please start looking beyond ourselves. pray, people pray... our ministry, (YA or Youth) needs a breakthrough. we need to move out. Lord, grant us insight and a larger perspective. there are many who need Him. more on this another time...
what do we claim?
This is what Titus 1:15-16 says,
"15To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. 16They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good."
there is nothing much that i want to type because i feel that the verses speak for themselves. these are hard verses, my friends. as i type this my heart is beating pretty fast. i dont want to live a life where i claim to know God and serve Him yet my actions deny Him. i feel that sometimes i am guilty of that. sometimes i go through a day, let my guard down and my actions dont glorify Him. and the worse thing would be if you and me are oblivious to that. Look at the description of the people who do this, i shudder. i certainly dont want to see anyone of us being described as such. i pray that we will live lives that match up to the gospel we preach. lets check our hearts and actions before we start judging others. Lord, help us.
"15To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. 16They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good."
there is nothing much that i want to type because i feel that the verses speak for themselves. these are hard verses, my friends. as i type this my heart is beating pretty fast. i dont want to live a life where i claim to know God and serve Him yet my actions deny Him. i feel that sometimes i am guilty of that. sometimes i go through a day, let my guard down and my actions dont glorify Him. and the worse thing would be if you and me are oblivious to that. Look at the description of the people who do this, i shudder. i certainly dont want to see anyone of us being described as such. i pray that we will live lives that match up to the gospel we preach. lets check our hearts and actions before we start judging others. Lord, help us.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
to you, you and you...
A friend replied to a prior sms i sent, "thnx for that msg! I was just feeling a lil down bout the way life is now but u just reminded me something so impt that i've been neglecting for quite awhile!......"
To you, (i dont even know if you visit though) continue to run this race and not give up. God put you through life's circumstances for a reason and a purpose. sometimes we fall and stray away but He is always wanting to draw us back. dont neglet Him anymore k? And run this race without looking back. i am always a phone call away when you need to share. and you can call 1800-Jesus anytime, anywhere. i love you dear and He loves you alot too. shine for Him alright!
To many who think that God doesnt care about you anymore or that He is so so far away, i want you to know that He is always pursuing you. He has caught you once before and He is still waiting for you to come back. He would leave 99 for you. i dont know how else to assure you except that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
To you, (who visit occasionally,i think) though i dont know exactly why you have strayed away, know that the body of Christ does not condemn you for the things you have done. you might feel unworthy but in Christ you are worthy. Men might have failed you BUT God has never and will never fail you. perhaps you dont understand why you have to go through those circumstances you have gone thru and why if He really exists will put you through them, i dont know exactly too, but what i know is that He makes all things beautiful in His time. God WILL reveal Himself to all those who seek. come back to Him. i can walk with you through this. are you willing to risk being vulnerable and trusting Him again?
To you, we still talk online and i know you dont want me to talk about God so i know, and i try to be the friend that you need at times. but i want you to know that your family and situation is in the hands of God. You feel disappointed by God and perhaps dont realise that the things you are doing now are an escape from God. yes, they can satisfy you for now,but ultimately there is a God-shaped hole in your heart that can never be satisfied by anything or anyone execpt HIM. the church and ministry might have disappointed you too. yes, the truth is humans are imperfect (and Christians are humans) but His love is perfect. please do not give up on Him. you are constantly in my prayers. Ring me anytime you need to talk.
To you, i know you are struggling through your Christian walk, even though sometimes on the outside you seem pretty strong. there are things we struggle through in our walk but there IS a way out my dear. God is not sadistic and wants you to be struggling all the time. we can be victorous in Him. In the midst of all your questions, about God, existence and the like, know that ultimately God is God. Perhaps we dont have to be in control all the time. perhaps we dont need ALL the answers. i know that is hard for you to accept. but i want you to know that God loves you for who you are. and i do too.
And to all of YOU who have been searching for answers and dont seem to be getting any, continue to persevere in all these. be patient, sometimes we cant see because our perspective is so different from HIS. i struggle with this too, but they are not in vain. His love is perfect, in time i pray that all of us will understand that.
To you, (i dont even know if you visit though) continue to run this race and not give up. God put you through life's circumstances for a reason and a purpose. sometimes we fall and stray away but He is always wanting to draw us back. dont neglet Him anymore k? And run this race without looking back. i am always a phone call away when you need to share. and you can call 1800-Jesus anytime, anywhere. i love you dear and He loves you alot too. shine for Him alright!
To many who think that God doesnt care about you anymore or that He is so so far away, i want you to know that He is always pursuing you. He has caught you once before and He is still waiting for you to come back. He would leave 99 for you. i dont know how else to assure you except that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
To you, (who visit occasionally,i think) though i dont know exactly why you have strayed away, know that the body of Christ does not condemn you for the things you have done. you might feel unworthy but in Christ you are worthy. Men might have failed you BUT God has never and will never fail you. perhaps you dont understand why you have to go through those circumstances you have gone thru and why if He really exists will put you through them, i dont know exactly too, but what i know is that He makes all things beautiful in His time. God WILL reveal Himself to all those who seek. come back to Him. i can walk with you through this. are you willing to risk being vulnerable and trusting Him again?
To you, we still talk online and i know you dont want me to talk about God so i know, and i try to be the friend that you need at times. but i want you to know that your family and situation is in the hands of God. You feel disappointed by God and perhaps dont realise that the things you are doing now are an escape from God. yes, they can satisfy you for now,but ultimately there is a God-shaped hole in your heart that can never be satisfied by anything or anyone execpt HIM. the church and ministry might have disappointed you too. yes, the truth is humans are imperfect (and Christians are humans) but His love is perfect. please do not give up on Him. you are constantly in my prayers. Ring me anytime you need to talk.
To you, i know you are struggling through your Christian walk, even though sometimes on the outside you seem pretty strong. there are things we struggle through in our walk but there IS a way out my dear. God is not sadistic and wants you to be struggling all the time. we can be victorous in Him. In the midst of all your questions, about God, existence and the like, know that ultimately God is God. Perhaps we dont have to be in control all the time. perhaps we dont need ALL the answers. i know that is hard for you to accept. but i want you to know that God loves you for who you are. and i do too.
And to all of YOU who have been searching for answers and dont seem to be getting any, continue to persevere in all these. be patient, sometimes we cant see because our perspective is so different from HIS. i struggle with this too, but they are not in vain. His love is perfect, in time i pray that all of us will understand that.
a fear that should not be there
Why is that i am compelled to share certain things but yet i feel that i should not put it up on my blog? i really dunno. i feel very strongly about certain things but i feel that perhaps i shouldnt blog it up. perhaps it's fear of rejection? or that people wont understand? or perhaps im just afraid of what people will think of me if i do post those things. i know this shouldnt be a hinderance,this is MY blog but yet what i feel is real.
until i sort this out, which i want to, i will not post the things i am thinking about up.
until i sort this out, which i want to, i will not post the things i am thinking about up.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
pondrerings about writing
i will be doing a paper on therapeutic writing this week and one point that i picked up while reading up is this: the pen is an extremely powerful tool. For all of us wo blog, perhaps it's the keyboard but whatever medium, i think you know what i mean. The tool with which we write, in a language understandable to us has the power to create and destroy. it can have the power to change lives too. The reading i was doing clearly stated that the modern culture tries to force us to write in a way that is academic, and it forces our life into a school essay form. However, life is not as simple as a school essay with an introduction, body and conclusion. it is much more complicated than that. people are much more complicated than that. we might have another introduction somewhere mid life and it is not as ordered as a point 1,2,3 essay. Crafting out our lives on paper or screen is not that straightforward. thus, the writer challenges that we write whatever comes to mind. i do think so too, if what you are writing is your PRIVATE journal is it's just you and maybe God. simply because thinking about what you are write might stifle creativity and what you might REALLY be thinking. (what do you think? agree?) well, for me, i do write private journals. what i publish on this blog might be most of what i am thinking and feeling but there are always thoughts that are private, just me and God. i believe in increasing your open self and being an open book, but i also believe that my God is special enough to share somethings with that no one would ever know.
this week, a few people have been commented on what i have bogging about. i have heard comments like; "wah,when i read your blog i have to concentrate,cant just leisure read." or "hey,your blog has been a blessing, continue to write and shine for the Lord." another said, "hey, i have been encouraged by your blog,i link it to mine k?" or one friend told me, "eh,your blog ah....wah,very Christian leh." adding to that another friend said, "thats your style isit? maybe one day you'll change or explore newer styles." To all of that,i did ponder. should i change my style of writing to suit my readers needs? all sorts of people pop by this page, some regularly, others once in a while. Well, i could change my writing to a daily update of what happens in my life, write about how bad/good school has been, (hey,im not saying that you cant do that in your blog or that is not good- just my personal preference.) or about tv programs that i watch, people that irritate me. these all are happenings in my life and i could write them BUT, hey! i think God is a bigger part of my life than all those things! God revolves around those things that happen in my life and yes, what i blog about IS my life. sorry dears, God is that big in my life. i dont think He is big enough yet, i still have a long way to go, but thats what i want to live for. perhaps He is not yet everything to me, but i pray that He will as i continue to seek Him.
so this morning, my ponderings on styles and how i should write ends here. i believe that your writing, whatever style it is, can glorify God. please dont feel as if you dont love God if you dont write about Him in your blogs. this is just my expression of who He is in my life. You could have other ways. Just remember, a pen can be a powerful tool, choose how you want to use it. And do drop a comment to let me know what writing/journalling means to you/how it has helped you. :)
there have been things on my mind. these things feel rather overwhelming and not many understand. they are beyond me, but i am going to trust YOU to take the lead and make the paths straight.
this week, a few people have been commented on what i have bogging about. i have heard comments like; "wah,when i read your blog i have to concentrate,cant just leisure read." or "hey,your blog has been a blessing, continue to write and shine for the Lord." another said, "hey, i have been encouraged by your blog,i link it to mine k?" or one friend told me, "eh,your blog ah....wah,very Christian leh." adding to that another friend said, "thats your style isit? maybe one day you'll change or explore newer styles." To all of that,i did ponder. should i change my style of writing to suit my readers needs? all sorts of people pop by this page, some regularly, others once in a while. Well, i could change my writing to a daily update of what happens in my life, write about how bad/good school has been, (hey,im not saying that you cant do that in your blog or that is not good- just my personal preference.) or about tv programs that i watch, people that irritate me. these all are happenings in my life and i could write them BUT, hey! i think God is a bigger part of my life than all those things! God revolves around those things that happen in my life and yes, what i blog about IS my life. sorry dears, God is that big in my life. i dont think He is big enough yet, i still have a long way to go, but thats what i want to live for. perhaps He is not yet everything to me, but i pray that He will as i continue to seek Him.
so this morning, my ponderings on styles and how i should write ends here. i believe that your writing, whatever style it is, can glorify God. please dont feel as if you dont love God if you dont write about Him in your blogs. this is just my expression of who He is in my life. You could have other ways. Just remember, a pen can be a powerful tool, choose how you want to use it. And do drop a comment to let me know what writing/journalling means to you/how it has helped you. :)
there have been things on my mind. these things feel rather overwhelming and not many understand. they are beyond me, but i am going to trust YOU to take the lead and make the paths straight.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
What weapons do you use to fight?
It's warfare all day,everyday.
"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete." -1 Corinthians 10:3-6
Even if my knees become calloused,i will still continue to pray. it's a fierce battle. But guess what,God is on our side! :) That weapons do you use to fight? Is it the Word or God and prayer?
"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete." -1 Corinthians 10:3-6
Even if my knees become calloused,i will still continue to pray. it's a fierce battle. But guess what,God is on our side! :) That weapons do you use to fight? Is it the Word or God and prayer?
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
back to my prayer closet i go
“Prayer does not condition God; prayer conditions us. Prayer does not win God to our view; it reveals God’s view to us. Prayer is not merit, so that by withdrawing from the world we of necessity gain special favours from God. Prayer is not purchasing things from God. If you ask why we emphasize prayer so much and so often, we reply, “Because Jesus did so.” The gospel of Luke gives accounts of whole nights spent in prayer by the Saviour. Are we better than He?” -Leonard Ravenhill in Revival Praying
I had a morning of weak, lackadaisical prayer before reading the word of God and closing my Bible thinking that I am done for the morning. I thought I was done and could get on with my day, having fulfilled my “daily quiet time”. I thought, “Anyway, I’ll be going for bible study later in the evening.” But God certainly wasn’t done with me yet. I picked up this book “Revival Praying” and thought I’d just read a chapter. Thank God I did. Because I was convicted of my lousy attitude of praying this past few days. I did pray, but not enough and I doubt it was in a way which pleased my Lord. I merely treated it as a need and not a want. Passionless is the word to describe it. And God convicted me and drew me back to my prayer closet once again. Before I even ended the chapter, I made a mental decision to pray, by the end of the chapter, I was down on my knees repenting and interceding.
You want to know God’s perspective? Pray more. You want to draw closer to Him? Pray more. You want to know His will for your life? Pray more. You want to see your family and friends saved? Pray more. You want your kids at cell to see His face? Pray more. You want to see your ministry grow? Pray more. You desire for the things of God? Pray more. You want to experience His presence even more? Pray more. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of prayer. And I don’t know how else to emphasize it except that you go and develop this spiritual discipline for yourself. Ravenhill talked about the “giants in the church” those who spent hours interceding and praying and how they were so close to God. I told God today that I don’t need my name written in books or to be exalted for praying. I just want what the intercessor John Hyde had- communion, “God and Hyde walked together.” That’s what I desire. To walk together with Him and to be so close to Him that wherever I go, I being the presence of God with me. That to me, is enough.
I had a morning of weak, lackadaisical prayer before reading the word of God and closing my Bible thinking that I am done for the morning. I thought I was done and could get on with my day, having fulfilled my “daily quiet time”. I thought, “Anyway, I’ll be going for bible study later in the evening.” But God certainly wasn’t done with me yet. I picked up this book “Revival Praying” and thought I’d just read a chapter. Thank God I did. Because I was convicted of my lousy attitude of praying this past few days. I did pray, but not enough and I doubt it was in a way which pleased my Lord. I merely treated it as a need and not a want. Passionless is the word to describe it. And God convicted me and drew me back to my prayer closet once again. Before I even ended the chapter, I made a mental decision to pray, by the end of the chapter, I was down on my knees repenting and interceding.
You want to know God’s perspective? Pray more. You want to draw closer to Him? Pray more. You want to know His will for your life? Pray more. You want to see your family and friends saved? Pray more. You want your kids at cell to see His face? Pray more. You want to see your ministry grow? Pray more. You desire for the things of God? Pray more. You want to experience His presence even more? Pray more. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of prayer. And I don’t know how else to emphasize it except that you go and develop this spiritual discipline for yourself. Ravenhill talked about the “giants in the church” those who spent hours interceding and praying and how they were so close to God. I told God today that I don’t need my name written in books or to be exalted for praying. I just want what the intercessor John Hyde had- communion, “God and Hyde walked together.” That’s what I desire. To walk together with Him and to be so close to Him that wherever I go, I being the presence of God with me. That to me, is enough.
Monday, March 27, 2006
one part in pain, all parts in pain
There has been much said about the case of Christian convert, Abdul Rahman and how he might be torn to pieces if his case is being dismissed. well, this issue has obviously more sides than it seems. To read more, click here.
I am not going to talk about his case here, although it is largely related. Well, i agree with many that we do have to interceed on behalf of this man and this case. however, i am reminded of the fact that prior to this, i have not been praying for Christians in other parts of the world suffering persecution. Not to pray for God to release them from their persecution, but, to paraphrase the Heavenly Man, "for stronger backs to bear the load of persecution". this case has been in the papers for the past weekend, and yes, we need to pray. but do you know how many other brothers and sisters in Christ are out there fighting for what they believe in? there are many in China, India, Pakistan, Vietnam, and many other parts of the world suffering for the gospel. just because one incident is being published in the papers does not mean that this is the only case. i wonder how many of us have been keeping these people in prayer. i admit that i do not do it often enough.
My question to all of us today is: Do we feel pain when we know that another person in the Body of Christ is suffering? Do we bear in the fellowship of sufferings of the believers in Christ? 1 Corinthians 12:26 says, "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." We are all in the same body of Christ, and we are all members of the same body. Do we merely look upon these incidents as being exceptions and well, just thank God we arent in such situations? or perhaps, we are even oblivious to these things happening around the world and indifferent to them.
i dont know about you, but this has moved me, not only to pray more; that God will enable Christians in such situations to stand firm in the gospel, BUT more than that, it has made me re-evaluate my Christian life. Am i radical enough for the Lord, and how am i living for Him? Not that i yearn to be persecuted for my faith/have to endure suffering, (although it is indeed our calling to suffer for the gospel- a very radical truth that i have yet to digest) but also to question my life, whether is how i live for the CAUSE of the gospel? hope you will ponder about this too.
I am not going to talk about his case here, although it is largely related. Well, i agree with many that we do have to interceed on behalf of this man and this case. however, i am reminded of the fact that prior to this, i have not been praying for Christians in other parts of the world suffering persecution. Not to pray for God to release them from their persecution, but, to paraphrase the Heavenly Man, "for stronger backs to bear the load of persecution". this case has been in the papers for the past weekend, and yes, we need to pray. but do you know how many other brothers and sisters in Christ are out there fighting for what they believe in? there are many in China, India, Pakistan, Vietnam, and many other parts of the world suffering for the gospel. just because one incident is being published in the papers does not mean that this is the only case. i wonder how many of us have been keeping these people in prayer. i admit that i do not do it often enough.
My question to all of us today is: Do we feel pain when we know that another person in the Body of Christ is suffering? Do we bear in the fellowship of sufferings of the believers in Christ? 1 Corinthians 12:26 says, "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." We are all in the same body of Christ, and we are all members of the same body. Do we merely look upon these incidents as being exceptions and well, just thank God we arent in such situations? or perhaps, we are even oblivious to these things happening around the world and indifferent to them.
i dont know about you, but this has moved me, not only to pray more; that God will enable Christians in such situations to stand firm in the gospel, BUT more than that, it has made me re-evaluate my Christian life. Am i radical enough for the Lord, and how am i living for Him? Not that i yearn to be persecuted for my faith/have to endure suffering, (although it is indeed our calling to suffer for the gospel- a very radical truth that i have yet to digest) but also to question my life, whether is how i live for the CAUSE of the gospel? hope you will ponder about this too.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
unintentional
i realised that i might have come across as being judgemental and arrogant in my last post. i am sorry if it was perceived in that light. that was never my intention. i have no right to judge anyway. and plus, i too am learning.
let me add to the post that lets be in prayer for these things. we do what we can, and pray all we can.
let me add to the post that lets be in prayer for these things. we do what we can, and pray all we can.
Friday, March 24, 2006
time to wake up from slumber
i shudder as i read these verses in Zephaniah because they describe the condition of many churches and Christians today. those described in the versus knew God. but did they REALLY KNOW Him?
5 those who bow down on the roofs
to worship the starry host,
those who bow down and swear by the LORD
and who also swear by Molech,
6 those who turn back from following the LORD
and neither seek the LORD nor inquire of him. (Zephaniah 1:5-6)
The Lord does not tolerate divided worship.He seeks wholehearted faithfulness and trust in Him. so today,who or what are we placing our trust in? or future careers? or achievements? or boyfriends/girlfriends? our money/planned finances? what is it we place our trust on? please please dont declare like the people of Judah that you swear by the LORD yet in fact you are worshipping other gods. the Lord will not tolerate.
12 At that time I will search Jerusalem with lamps
and punish those who are complacent,
who are like wine left on its dregs,
who think, 'The LORD will do nothing,
either good or bad.' (Zephnaniah 1:12)
Are we Christians who sit back and say that God will not do anything, living in indifference and being contented in our sins? To me, apathy/indifference is a sin. My friends, the Lord hates sin! if we say we are living a Christian life, we ought to ask God to examine our hearts and minds daily, and work on those areas in our life! please stop thinking of God as ONLY full of grace. Yes, He IS full of grace, BUT He is also a judge my friends. so take heed, and purify your lives constantly.
15 This is the carefree city
that lived in safety.
She said to herself,
"I am, and there is none besides me."
What a ruin she has become,
a lair for wild beasts!
All who pass by her scoff
and shake their fists. (Zephaniah 2:15)
And you think that it is all secure and nice? Yes, we are living in a country that is blessed. you are living a life that is secure, probably a guranteed job when you graduate, food on the table, a church to go to. We need to wake up and stop feeling so comfortable. look at the world around. Do you even realise what is happening around the world? Or have we been so oblivious? i think we really need to get down on our knees and pray more.
2 She obeys no one,
she accepts no correction.
She does not trust in the LORD,
she does not draw near to her God. (Zephaniah 3:2)
Are we so arrogant thinking that we know it all? accepting no correction? May we be far from this! the Lord opposes the proud my friends, and gives grace to the humble. Learn from Jesus Himself, know His humility and practice it.
Lastly,
11 On that day you will not be put to shame
for all the wrongs you have done to me,
because I will remove from this city
those who rejoice in their pride.
Never again will you be haughty
on my holy hill.
12 But I will leave within you
the meek and humble,
who trust in the name of the LORD. (Zephaniah 3:11-12)
That is what the Lord desires. HUMILITY and righteousness.He hates it when we are proud and think we can do it all on our own.i think it disgusts Him. only those who are meek and humble will see the face of God. please,my dear friends, let us learn to be humble,learn fo Christ, He is the best example. i dont want to sound presumtious or arrogant but i really i dont wish to see that when the Day of the Lord comes and judgement befalls, that God will send some of us to the side of the goats. God forbid that such a thing happen to any of us. So, lets live a life worthy of the calling that He has for us. i'm sorry if this entry has been rather harsh. i do feel rather burdened as i read these versus.
5 those who bow down on the roofs
to worship the starry host,
those who bow down and swear by the LORD
and who also swear by Molech,
6 those who turn back from following the LORD
and neither seek the LORD nor inquire of him. (Zephaniah 1:5-6)
The Lord does not tolerate divided worship.He seeks wholehearted faithfulness and trust in Him. so today,who or what are we placing our trust in? or future careers? or achievements? or boyfriends/girlfriends? our money/planned finances? what is it we place our trust on? please please dont declare like the people of Judah that you swear by the LORD yet in fact you are worshipping other gods. the Lord will not tolerate.
12 At that time I will search Jerusalem with lamps
and punish those who are complacent,
who are like wine left on its dregs,
who think, 'The LORD will do nothing,
either good or bad.' (Zephnaniah 1:12)
Are we Christians who sit back and say that God will not do anything, living in indifference and being contented in our sins? To me, apathy/indifference is a sin. My friends, the Lord hates sin! if we say we are living a Christian life, we ought to ask God to examine our hearts and minds daily, and work on those areas in our life! please stop thinking of God as ONLY full of grace. Yes, He IS full of grace, BUT He is also a judge my friends. so take heed, and purify your lives constantly.
15 This is the carefree city
that lived in safety.
She said to herself,
"I am, and there is none besides me."
What a ruin she has become,
a lair for wild beasts!
All who pass by her scoff
and shake their fists. (Zephaniah 2:15)
And you think that it is all secure and nice? Yes, we are living in a country that is blessed. you are living a life that is secure, probably a guranteed job when you graduate, food on the table, a church to go to. We need to wake up and stop feeling so comfortable. look at the world around. Do you even realise what is happening around the world? Or have we been so oblivious? i think we really need to get down on our knees and pray more.
2 She obeys no one,
she accepts no correction.
She does not trust in the LORD,
she does not draw near to her God. (Zephaniah 3:2)
Are we so arrogant thinking that we know it all? accepting no correction? May we be far from this! the Lord opposes the proud my friends, and gives grace to the humble. Learn from Jesus Himself, know His humility and practice it.
Lastly,
11 On that day you will not be put to shame
for all the wrongs you have done to me,
because I will remove from this city
those who rejoice in their pride.
Never again will you be haughty
on my holy hill.
12 But I will leave within you
the meek and humble,
who trust in the name of the LORD. (Zephaniah 3:11-12)
That is what the Lord desires. HUMILITY and righteousness.He hates it when we are proud and think we can do it all on our own.i think it disgusts Him. only those who are meek and humble will see the face of God. please,my dear friends, let us learn to be humble,learn fo Christ, He is the best example. i dont want to sound presumtious or arrogant but i really i dont wish to see that when the Day of the Lord comes and judgement befalls, that God will send some of us to the side of the goats. God forbid that such a thing happen to any of us. So, lets live a life worthy of the calling that He has for us. i'm sorry if this entry has been rather harsh. i do feel rather burdened as i read these versus.
questions and conclusions
how come i am always in conflict.i often KNOW what is expected of me, and often i think i know what God wants me to do. but i dont FEEL that way. this will always be a conflict and i have to learn how to deal with it. if carl rogers was here, he would term this as "incongruence". not being in tune with myself, in simple terms. and well,bible study that day kinda helped me figure out why.coz we exist in BODY and SPIRIT. both of which affects the feelings, mind and finally propel the will. to explain it like that and here is really doing it injustice. sis cecilia had such good illustrations for that. (ask me,i'll explain more or even show u the slides) but wat i want to say is that i know i will always experience this conflict because i am only human but i can deal with it as i fill my mind more with the word of God. well,to me,it's pretty complicated.we are complicated beings.and God made us such.the complexity of this species called humans. i would like to think that we can be decoded simply but we cant.i have attepmted to reduce humans to it's core,but woah,i've failed because God made us so complex.well, i will not crack my brains on that anymore because i see no point in that. sometimes i think i drown myself with such thoughts and confuse myself too much. -shakes head-
okay,i have just went off tangent from what i wanted to type but i decided to leave it there just so that you see my thought process and how random i can be.well,i think that i have often than not grappled with the mind versus the feelings.doing what i KNOW is best versus feeling like it is the best.i have had to question many things i have done recently and ask myself whether it is worth it,whether what i am doing helps another person. i have asked the question of "God are you sure?" countless times when all along i know the answer was "I am faithful". being so human, i struggle with whether i have done the right things, made the right decisions and asked the right questions. i have asked questions and have heard people ask me what issues i have because of the questions i ask. and so i even question my questions.i have had thought processes recently that made me critical about the things i have been doing,and sometimes i think im just being too hard on myself. poor brains.
ultimately,after all the questions and conflicts,i have come to ONE conclusion. that all that matters is to be in the centre of God's will. and to count all else rubbish. how to do that? i am still learning and very humbly doing so because i am so far from it. so far. i understand that there is nothing else to live for except towards the goal for which He has called me heavenward. and step by step i want that to engulf my life. day by day this is my prayer: that my desire will be to be ALL that He wants me to be.
okay,i have just went off tangent from what i wanted to type but i decided to leave it there just so that you see my thought process and how random i can be.well,i think that i have often than not grappled with the mind versus the feelings.doing what i KNOW is best versus feeling like it is the best.i have had to question many things i have done recently and ask myself whether it is worth it,whether what i am doing helps another person. i have asked the question of "God are you sure?" countless times when all along i know the answer was "I am faithful". being so human, i struggle with whether i have done the right things, made the right decisions and asked the right questions. i have asked questions and have heard people ask me what issues i have because of the questions i ask. and so i even question my questions.i have had thought processes recently that made me critical about the things i have been doing,and sometimes i think im just being too hard on myself. poor brains.
ultimately,after all the questions and conflicts,i have come to ONE conclusion. that all that matters is to be in the centre of God's will. and to count all else rubbish. how to do that? i am still learning and very humbly doing so because i am so far from it. so far. i understand that there is nothing else to live for except towards the goal for which He has called me heavenward. and step by step i want that to engulf my life. day by day this is my prayer: that my desire will be to be ALL that He wants me to be.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
love within limits
Was reading a devotional and John Piper referred to a book by Lewis Smedes- Love Within Limits. It caught my attention so i thought i'd share.
“The first is the limit set by clashing claims. There are limits to the goodness love can do when doing good to one person will mean not doing good to another person. This limit happens virtually every time you do an act of love for someone, because in that moment you are not doing that act of love for someone else. To choose one course of love is to leave a thousand other courses unchosen. When Jesus healed one leper, he left hundreds unhealed. His life was a continual series of choices to love one way and not another. To do is also to leave undone.”
if i love someone at this moment, means that i cant love another thousand others, but does that stop me from loving? no. i am not God, i cant love everyone at the same time and that is OKAY. yes, love does have limits. so you see, we all make choices each day as to who and which way to love. we can do something now, but that means that we cant do something else at this same point of time. and that boils down once again to choices. i want to live my life with no regrets. perhaps i made some wrong choices yesterday. but that does not stop me from making better choices today. And even better ones tomorrow. teach me Lord, how to love. to give of myself even if it hurts.
“The first is the limit set by clashing claims. There are limits to the goodness love can do when doing good to one person will mean not doing good to another person. This limit happens virtually every time you do an act of love for someone, because in that moment you are not doing that act of love for someone else. To choose one course of love is to leave a thousand other courses unchosen. When Jesus healed one leper, he left hundreds unhealed. His life was a continual series of choices to love one way and not another. To do is also to leave undone.”
if i love someone at this moment, means that i cant love another thousand others, but does that stop me from loving? no. i am not God, i cant love everyone at the same time and that is OKAY. yes, love does have limits. so you see, we all make choices each day as to who and which way to love. we can do something now, but that means that we cant do something else at this same point of time. and that boils down once again to choices. i want to live my life with no regrets. perhaps i made some wrong choices yesterday. but that does not stop me from making better choices today. And even better ones tomorrow. teach me Lord, how to love. to give of myself even if it hurts.
Monday, March 20, 2006
life at its rawest
Satisfying Sips Photograph by Chris JohnsA melon plucked from the ground provides a drink. Bushmen once found water in plants and rainy–season pools. Now they draw it from the deep wells, or boreholes, that opened the Kalahari Desert to cattle grazing and allowed Bushmen to settle in permanent villages.
Southern Africa’s hunter-gatherers seek a foothold By Peter Godwin [To read the entire article, click here.]
"We set up camp in a clearing in the bush close to the village, and that night I lie awake listening to the hawking of phlegm-filled chests, the hacking of tubercular coughs, and the wavering wails of the babies, which compete with the yelps of patrolling jackals to fill the dome of stars above us. It is winter in the Kalahari and bone-achingly cold when the cocks begin to crow a few minutes before four. As I emerge from my tent, “dawn’s heart,” as Bushmen traditionally call Jupiter, is burning brightly on the horizon. The water in my billycan is frozen solid.
When we enter the village, the families are huddled around their tiny fires; some of the children are shirtless, and the adults have, at most, a single threadbare blanket clasped around each pair of bony shoulders and each toast a rack of prominent ribs. They are breakfasting meagerly on berries and weak tea.
N!amce, a Den/ui leader, sits on a log making arrows. He rolls the yellow reed shaft in the ashes, then squints down its barrel and straightens it. He smears bitumen from an old car battery onto the end of the shaft, heats it again, and binds twine made of kudu sinew around it. He cuts a notch at the back end for the bow string to slot into, and on the other end he inserts a spike of giraffe bone, which connects to another little cylinder of reed into which the arrowhead, a length of gauge wire whose end has been hammered into a triangle, is forced. He gingerly coats the four inches of the wire shaft behind the arrow tip with poison stored in a steenbok horn. "
***
I wish that was me, lying awake in the night, listening to the sounds of nature, being in a different culture, a culture not my own, living their lives, loving people of the wild. To experience life at its barest, in it's rawest form. Just imagining it makes me smile.
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