saying yes and no.

Another successful sabbath. smiles.

I have been attempting to take rests on Sundays and resolutely decided not to even head down to church but to spend time with God alone. (i go down on saturdays in case you think i have backslided, haha. and on sundays only when i have a need to) Well, what do i do then? Instead of hanging out with friends after service, i spend time at home catching up on some reading, talking to my parents and just relaxing- doing things at a slow pace. I have realised that i need to take time off to keep myself going for the year, at least the next half of the year. There are ALWAYS things to do, projects to busy myself with, people to meet but i concluded, after my the last crazy semester, that i really need to take regular breaks. Well, i dont succeed every week, but at least i try and my attempts have proven not too bad ones.

I have also been learning to say 'no' to some things. And goodness, i never thought it would be that hard. But i learn- to do the things that i have to and let go of other things. I haven't been all that good with that, feeling guilty for rejecting certain things and kicking myself for agreeing on others. I struggle between saying yes- because i can and thinking of long term implications of that 'yes'. I never used to look forward so much, but we all learn don't we? And this year, i have been learning what it means to go through processes. So yeah, i really thank God for these important lessons, better learn it now than later.

Well, there are some things that i have been saying 'yes' to and YES indeed! I am pleased to be part of Crossroad 47 and even more pleased to be counted in for this ministry. God has been teaching me valuable lessons as i work with different ones in the ministry and as i serve Him in ways that i have not before. Exploring unknown territories, making conversations never made before, taking risks- but one thing i have really learnt through this is truly: humility. i have to say alot of times that "i really don't know." I don't know what the inner worlds of the youths are like, i don't know how to help them, i don't even know what our relationship means to them, i don't even know if what we dream about is possible- i must say that i start from scratch. But one thing i know: and that is God is faithful and he uses weak things to make His glory known. I know that He has been seeing me through and showing me things that i have never seen before. I know that He has granted me favour in building relationships. I know that He has given me a great pastor who directs, envisions and to serve together with. I know that He WILL see me through. And that is enough. The assurance that God is going to make things perfect (His definition) in His time is overwhelming.

Therefore, i say 'yes' to trusting Him.