grateful.

All my secondary and jc life i have woken up at 5plus or perhaps 615am latest, but over the years, since i left uniform-ed education, i have never really woken up regularly at such unearthly hours. i have come to conclude that i am not a morning person, with people having to shake me to wake me up during youth camps, rachlim and i missing morning prayer during retreat (at 630am) which we kept saying we would wake up for. being late for most of my 8am uni classes and needing wake up calls. i have labeled myself as not a morning person and in fact have had many more late nights than early mornings. THEN, i found the joy of waking up early once again. it is not only a good, fresh feeling, feeling all set for the day but also nostalgic as well.

at 530am this morning, (it's 6 now by the way) i crawled out of bed when all was dark, and took a warm shower. when i came out, my family members seemed to be awaking from their slumber. water running, electric shavers, the sound of the washing machine, boiling water and stirring of milos and teas. routine movements around the house as if there was no need to think about where to go or what to do because it was so familiar. i realised have taken all of that for granted. that there would be boiled water when i woke up and that the house will be in order. This family wakes up at 6am. And how many times have i done that since i was in jc? i think not many. This family prays before leaving the house to separate ways. and i miss doing that, i miss those days where i will be sitting at the sofa waiting for daddy to get ready and then we'll pray. no spectacular prayers, and sometimes groggily too, the prayers were uttered faithfully every morning. i used to go "huh? my turn ah?" when i was supposed to pray, but now i know why mum and dad made us do it at home. i used to think that we kept praying the same prayers, why pray anyway? and now i see, i see why mummy and daddy did that every morning and is still doing that with dave. i miss those days, i really do. and i realised, that my childhood, or uniformed days are long over.

i am no longer a child. although i will always be mummy and daddy's children, but i am 21 this year. the concept of growing up and excites me as well as scares me. my future ahead is promising, but definitely not as the world sees it. but does it matter to me? i dont know, perhaps i will know when reality REALLY strikes. but i really thank God for supportive parents, parents who say- "dont look at the salary, look at the lives." i am truly blessed, how many parents in Singapore are like that? not many. the choo family, we dont own a car, we are not rich, (in money) we dont have club memberships, we dont own a big house, neither do we go on many holidays coz that would burn a hole in daddy's pocket but i say we are blessed. we sometimes ask ourselves what we would do if we were rich-er. i have struggled with pursuing my dreams and passions and making my parents proud when their friends ask them what i am doing. perhaps it's a very asian-chinese-confucian mindset where face and reputation is important. but im glad that we are not only asian-chinese, that we are children of God. and that makes all the difference. Children of God don't focus on mian zi (or face) in fact, they throw it away. Children of God desire to be small and lose themselves so that Christ can be made big in their lives. and as children of God, we know the grace of God is upon our family, we are neither in debt, and whats more, we have enough to give generously. and i am grateful. i know my parents have brought me up well, and i know that i might not do them proud in wordly terms, but i will in eternal terms.

this morning i am very thankful, coz i know that where the Lord has brought me today is purely by His grace. and i know i am rich, rich in Him. i know my family is in His hands. daddy, mummy and dave, i love you.